The Blue Rickshaw

Returning Pakistan Cricket to Pakistan

2012-01-23T21:32:00.001-05:00

The rickshaw has been stalled for quite some time. Over 9 months to be exact. And with the other two writers, who by the way are much better writers, being far busier in life then myself, the onus has fallen on me to restart it. So I’d like to blame the gas shortage for the lack of our rickshaw making the rounds, but our rickshaw runs on a different sort of fuel – usually cricket.

Cheesy analogies aside, I couldn’t help but write something this past weekend, for something monumental has happened in the last week that simply cannot be ignored, not even by us lazy rickshaw writers. If you haven’t heard, England is paying a visit to the United Arab Emirates. After smashing the former No. 1 side in Tests, i.e. India, 4-0 at home, England took their place at the top of the perch, and were keen to show the world they can do it in Asia as well. Of course, Pakistan has been in good nick as well, though beating Bangladesh is never really anything to write home about; Sri Lanka are quickly getting worse as time goes on; and we didn’t even manage to beat the woeful West Indies outright. Still we had some form coming in, and were relishing the test.

The fact that we managed to beat England inside 3 days by 10 wickets is beyond amazing, for many reasons. The problems of Pakistan cricket with the spot-fixing scandal are well documented. Added to the mix was a crazy captain who retired from cricket only to return months later, a mad Chairman of the Board who finally got replaced, a coach who quit because of the mad captain, and jail sentences for the Pakistani cricketer involved in the spot-fixing crisis. What you end up with then is the normal stew of Pakistan cricket: power politics, inconsistency, and wacky decision-making. It has to be said, though, that this team has been different. Misbah-ul-Haq may just manage to pull of the most incredible feat in the history of Pakistan cricket: being forgiven for losing a match against India in the World Cup. Under his leadership there is a calm and stability amongst the team that I certainly have never seen, and I doubt few have. Even in the days of Imran Khan there was an element of drama. Yet at 37 years young, Misbah has managed to do what so few Pakistani captains have done before him: get his boys to play as a team.

Now comes the sad part. The test match was played in front of a few hundred supporters – a pity because this performance by the Pakistanis deserved a much better audience. Pakistan has been stripped of its rights to host cricket since the infamous shooting on the Sri Lanka cricket team. Cricket has always been an escape for us, and we have never needed a victory more than we do now. With corruption, inflation, gas shortage, electricity shortage and terrorism only a few of the things tearing the country apart, we really needed a lift like this. But imagine for a second, instead of the winning being runs in front of a few drunken Barmy Army supporters and the odd unemployed Pakistani in Dubai, that the match had instead been played in Lahore. Offices would be flooded with sick leave requests, school attendances would be at an all-time low, stores that open around noon normally wouldn’t even bother opening. Instead, the whole of Lahore would be making its way over to Gaddafi Stadium (which surprisingly has not been renamed after Bhutto like everything else this godforsaken government has gotten their hands on). The last time I saw a test match at Gaddafi, I had to sneak away in the trunk of my cousin’s car to get out of boarding school. This time around, I’m sure the my housemaster would have chartered buses to get the boys to the ground

At the moment, the buzzing of Gaddafi stadium upon the return of cricket is simply a romantic notion in my head. It shouldn’t remain that way, however. Pakistan has a list of issues longer than the Nile, Ganges and Indus put together. That does not mean we should overlook the lack of international cricket on home soil. For all the shit that we go through, we certainly deserve the opportunity to be able to take a break from it all and shout at the top of our lungs for a team that for the first time in my life at least is consistently good in the Test arena.

Wishing the return of cricket won’t make it come true. The PCB and the Government both have a role to play in ensuring that Pakistan once again hosts the greatest game there is at the international level. Bangladesh are set to tour Pakistan in April, in essence after being bribed to do so. The security for that visit needs to be far better than what it was for Sri Lanka. Speaking of which, the culprits of the Sri Lanka shootings need to be apprehended. Easier said than done, I’m sure, but it should have been of the highest priority to start off with to track down the reason behind the shootings. The domestic circuit of cricket also needs to be strengthened. Pakistan needs to be able to host domestic tournaments successfully before thinking about inviting teams other than Bangladesh or Zimbabwe. Perhaps the absence of international cricket can give the PCB an opportunity to figure out a way to get crowds to the Quaid-e-Azam trophy. These are only a few of many steps that can be taken to get us back on track to re-enter the fold of international cricket. Let’s hope that if Imran Khan is able to continue his ‘tsunami’ and gets to the top, he won’t forget about the game that got him there. In the meantime, we can all continue to enjoy the phenomenal rise of Misbah’s men!

The Dissolution of the Higher Education Commission

2011-04-08T17:06:00.005-04:00

9 years ago, 2 exceptional men moved from the Information and Technology Ministry to the newly founded Higher Education Commission, an autonomous entity that was replacing the well-meaning but largely ineffective University Grants Commission. One was, of course, Dr. Ata ur Rehman, whose reputation precedes him. I could spend this entire article raving about Dr. Ata, who got his Ph.D. in organic chemistry from Cambridge. He has won domestic and international accolades for his outstanding contributions in the field of science and academics. I refer you to his Wikipedia page for a more comprehensive list of his achievements. The other person was my father, Dr. Sohail Naqvi. Over the last 9 years, I have seen first-hand how my father has poured his heart and soul into working towards the betterment of this country. It was, therefore, one of the saddest moments of my life when my mother called me a couple of weeks back to confirm the rumors the HEC was indeed being disbanded. Here is why you should be heartbroken about this as well:

Let me start by highlighting a few things HEC has done since it’s inauguration in 2002. Perhaps the most prominent stat is the incredible number of Ph.D. students that the HEC has helped produce. Between1947 to 2002, Pakistan produced roughly 3000 Ph.D. students. After the HEC was founded in 2002, Pakistan produced 3280 Ph.D. students in 8 years. That, of course, has helped research output grow six-fold since 2002. Second, while there have been accusations that HEC has over-invested in Punjab, the biggest investment by share has been in Khyberpakhtunkhwa. New universities have been set up in Bannu, Kohat, Malakand, Swat and Mardan. Balochistan has also seen an uptick in higher education, with 4 universities added to the 2 that already existed in 2002. Finally, there are currently over 7,500 HEC-funded scholars pursuing their Ph.Ds locally and abroad. All of these scholars are now in jeopardy of losing their scholarships as the governments tries to deal with the mess they have created. This is just scratching the surface of what HEC has accomplished, for a more comprehensive list of achievements please refer to this document, which has provided the basis for most of the facts in this article.

Moving on, let us get to the part where the government dissolves the HEC, despite opposition from almost all other major political parties including the PML-N, MQM, JI and PTI. This is being done under the direction of Raza Rabbani, the chairman of the implementation committee of the 18th Amendment. To clarify, HEC is not against devolution per se; it had, for example, already started to devolve many important tasks like faculty training to the provincial level. That, however, is only a small part of what HEC does: most tasks simply cannot be devolved efficiently. The 18th Amendment recognized this and put in place many provisions to protect the functions of HEC. An example is the following exerpt from the 18th Amendment, which highlight integral functions of the HEC:

Fourth Schedule [Article 70(4)]: Federal Legislative List Part I
Item # 16: Federal agencies and institutes for the following purposes, that is to say, for research, for professional or technical training, or for the promotion of special studies.
Item # 17: Education as respects Pakistani students in foreign countries and foreign students in Pakistan.
Item # 32: International treaties, conventions and agreements and International arbitration.
Item # 59: Matters incidental or ancillary to any matter enumerated in this Part.

To find a way around this, Raza Rabbani and his Committee have decided to play musical chairs with the functions of the HEC that cannot be devolved. For example, the degree verification function is being transferred from the HEC to the cabinet division. This, beyond its recent role in determining eligibility for public office, is of vital importance. In order for anyone to be able to seek work outside Pakistan, they had to get their degree verified by the HEC. This is in part because HEC has earned membership of the Asia Pacific Quality Network, as well as the Network of Quality Assurance Agencies of the World. These prestigious memberships are not transferable, so the international recognition of Pakistani degrees will be devalued once the Cabinet Ministry takes over verification duties. Despite this, under the plan to dissolve the HEC degree attestation will come under the cabinet division, and the hard work done by the HEC in establishing the credibility of a Pakistani degree will be lost. Instead, people like Rehman Malik and company will be in charge of determining validity of Pakistanis' degrees.

As alluded to earlier, one of the many drawbacks of this dissolution plan is that the funding and studies of Pakistani scholars studying abroad through HEC programs would be in jeopardy. This is another function of HEC that is not being devolved, but simply being moved to the Ministry of Inter-Provincial Coordination, where Raza Rabanni himself is the minister. These programs are under jeopardy because they are being funded through loans coming from the IMF and World Bank, as the government allocated zero funding towards the HEC in the past fiscal year. The World Bank and USAID came to the rescue, giving HEC loans of US $300 million and US $250 million respectively. These loans are contingent on the assumption that HEC stays as it is, so Raza Rabanni’s recent assurance in the press that these scholars would be unaffected by this move is simply untrue.

This is only the beginning of our defense of HEC here at the rickshaw. Hopefully we will have more literature up for you in the coming days about all aspects of the dissolution of HEC. For now, please join the movement to stop this madness on Facebook at: http://www.causes.com/causes/597948.

I watched the match with 200 Indians.

2011-03-31T21:20:00.004-04:00

In the lead up to what undoubtedly is the most important cricket match I have witnessed in my life I read probably over 100 articles about the epic India-Pakistan semi-final. Many of them were fascinating to read, including an article from the Times of India about the Punjabi connection this match was facilitating. However, there was one in particular I disagreed with; the ‘Dil Bolay Boom Boom’ article. To sum up, basically the Pakistani writer here says she just simply can’t watch an India cricket game with her dear Indian friend. No two nations in the world love cricket more than India and Pakistan, and fans of these two countries should be able to watch games together. I, therefore, was all too happy to confirm my involvement in a joint screening of the cricket match on campus.

So come the day, finally, and my guess that not too many fair weather fans would show up at 4 am was way off. The Michigan Cricket Association did a brilliant job organizing the screening of the match on campus, and an hour before the match started the crowd started to trickle in. By the time of the toss there was a good 150 odd people in a room not built for more than 70, but what good would a India-Pakistan game be if we weren’t packed like a can of sardines. The noise level was incredible, with the Indians accounting for a good chunk of that. In our crowd which eventually grew close to 300, Indians outnumbered Pakistanis by, I’d say, at least 4:1. That didn’t deter us one bit, we were being heard as well. No one had a hope in hell of hearing the toss, our crowd was just too raucous.

With such a momentous occasion it was hard not to be a bit nervous about things perhaps going south with some of the animosity that can naturally exist between the two nations. However, MCA did a brilliant job of making sure everyone was able to watch the game in the right spirit. There, of course, were a few incidents that in hindsight should have been avoided but really nothing more than a blip on the radar. For the most part the atmosphere was sublime. The Indians cheered every boundary with amazing fervor, and not two overs passed with a chant for the god of batting: ‘saaccchiiinnnnn sachin!’ Of course, we did our best, amusing the Indians with our ‘tara-rere-roro-ra’ chant. The best part was that everyone was joining in, from unknown grad students who randomly stopped by to freshmen still finding their way: no one was holding back anything. I must admit I tried to stay calm but when Wahab bhai shattered the stumps of Yuvraj Singh, I was overcome with sheer elation. I beat my chest so many times and so hard I knocked my own breath out, but thankfully no one noticed in the commotion! The Pakistanis overall were a joy to watch the match with. They were all well behaved, kept their cool and showed incredible grace as our team headed towards the exit door.

The second innings was a much calmer affair. We shifted to a larger room and there was more segregation. People were also losing steam, as the all-nighters start to catch up and the voices slowly disappeared. However, they came roaring back on the Indian side when Kamran Akmal got caught at point for about the 10,000th time of his career. Hafeez’s dismissal brought more noise in anger from the Pakistanis than it did in joy for the Indians. The match was close enough that the Indians were nervous till the end, but the balance shifted with one magic ball. Bhajji came round the wicket with the newer ball after the mandatory change and Umar Akmal played all around a delivery that crashed into his off-stump. Pakistan may still have had a chance if we took that damn batting powerplay early. People may blame Afridi all they want, the real culprit in my eyes is Waqar Younis. As the coach, he is responsible for the poor tactical decisions made right throughout this tournament about the timing of the batting powerplays.

Take nothing away from the Indians. They were the better team and deserved to win on the day. Sachin may have been lucky to win the man of the match, but if anyone deserves a bit of luck, it is the batting god himself. Dhoni was spot on with all of his bowling changes, and only had to use 5 bowlers. The contest was fitting for the hype, and sets a stage fit for two legends to bow out. I don’t think Sachin is about to retire but I highly doubt he is going to be around when he is 41 although you never know, but it’s a safe bet to say this is his last World Cup. The other legend who is in my eyes equally great is of course the one and only Muttiah Muralitharan, whose spelling changes as often as Razzaq’s so forgive me if I don’t have the updated version of his spelling. Where Sachin has 99 tons, Murali has over 1300 wickets. Sachin is the leading runs scorer in both firms of the game, Murali is the leading wicket taker in both forms of the game. The difference is of course Sachin is at home while Murali already has a World Cup title. Whatever the outcome at least one great will end his stellar career right on top. I am going to watch the game as a true neutral. Sri Lanka has always been my second favorite team since the days of the magical Arivinda de Silva which is why I may lean towards them. I will not however root against India, some might and that’s fine, but I have no qualms about enjoying good Indian cricket.

But this is not about a preview of the final or a breakdown of the match. What moved me to write this article was the camaraderie between two amazing countries. Over the last four years at college, I have developed the most fantastic relationships with Indians stretching from Delhi to Bangalore and beyond. This match did not for one second jeopardize those friendships, in fact it strengthened them. When the final wicket of Misbah fell, before celebrating, Nirmit Agarwala, the president of MCA and the leading voice on the Indian side came over to the Pakistani side and congratulated and consoled each one of us. This was followed by my normal gang: Anant, Varun, Aaron, Baliga and many more. There was no taunting, no jeering, just cheering for a great victory. The experience of losing to India with 200-odd other Indians remains a shattering one, and the pain is here to stay for some time. However, as long as I have friends like these on both sides of the border, it is a pain I can live with.

Top 10 Bars in Ann Arbor for Non-Alcoholics

2011-01-28T16:12:00.004-05:00

Just some places I like hitting up over the weekend, enjoy!

10. Red hawk: A quiet bar which normally caters to an older crowd, Red Hawk actually has a bit to offer for college students. If you are looking for a place to go chill out, play some cards and have some nice conversation, Red Hawk is the place for you!
X-factor: They have root beer on tap. ON TAP!

9. Scorekeepers: An honorable mention to my past employers, Skeeps is not exactly the most upscale place in town but it can be loads of fun. Tuesday, Thursday or Saturday nights it’s the place to be if you are looking for a crazy time with lots of people.
X-factor: Best staff in town. Fact.

8. Jolly Pumpkin: I really liked this place in my inaugural visit a couple of weeks back. It would be rude not to include them since they have a special section on their menu for non-alcoholic beverages.
X-factor: The ambiance. The lighting is simply fantastic, surprisingly rare for bars around here as Ricks and Skeeps so aptly demonstrate.

7. Connors: No town in America would be complete without an Irish bar, there is one on every block in new york for crying out loud. Connors is good for catching a champions league games, the food is great and reasonably priced.
X-Factor: Bread pudding. Amazingly good and at a couple of bucks a real bargain!

6. Bab’s: A less known bar located just behind Main Street on Ashley’s, this place was quite the discovery for me. It is underground with two layers in the bar and a unique ambiance inside. There are pool tables to chill out or at the lower level a nice social area to mingle.
X- factor: It actually is a cigar lounge!

5. Heidelberg: The restaurant itself would make this place worth visiting, the bar underground just adds to the appeal. Even on slow nights the atmosphere down there is alive, I attribute that to the unique architecture. My housemate tried to explain how it had some awesome acoustic set-up, all I know is that it works!
X-factor: This place has the best Wiener schnitzel this side of the Huron River.

4. Bar Loiue: if there is a straight laced honest to goodness Muslim in this world it’s my father, and I took him to Bar Loiue when he came to visit me two years ago. He loved it. The food is awesome, and their virgin pina-colada reminded me of Papasallis back home in Islamabad.
X-factor: Dollar burger Tuesdays. Need I say more?

3. Charley’s: Everybody’s favorite college bar, Charley’s is the place to be. It has by God the greasiest food I have come across since Blimpy, and it is so good. The burgers just drip with deliciousness (except for the veggie burgers, please don’t try it, I did, took me weeks to get the taste out). The root beer float is nothing fancy, just IBC and ice cream but something about the atmosphere makes it taste so much better!
X-factor: Pizza sticks. Whether you go for the non-pork option like me or the pepperoni sticks like the rest of the world, you can’t go wrong. I should probably warn you that you might die of a heart attack eating these things, but you will die in bliss!

2. Rush Street: No root beer. No food. No worries. If you want to get down tonight, go to rush street. It has the most insane beat going through the club. And the crowd there is high class, none of that Rick’s garbage. I used to be a shy dancer, barely busting a move. Then I went to rush street and could not help myself.
X-factor: Live drums on the dance floor. There is this guy playing the bongos and some other drums and the cymbals, matching up the beat to what the DJ is spinning. Insane.

1. Ashley’s: The best of the best, Ashley’s will always be my No. 1 bar to go to. The BBQ burger is about as good as I have ever had, the pesto fries are delicious but way better are the curry fries. The only way I can explain them really is if someone poured haleem on fries, what a bloody brilliant idea!
X-factor: You guessed it- root beer! The root beer from the gun is awesome, cheap and refills are free! If you are in a fancier mood as I sometimes am, root beer is also served of some brand I can’t remember. It is expensive at just over 3 bucks but wow is it worth it!

The Sports Rundown

2011-01-21T17:12:00.006-05:00

So a lot of our stuff has been quite serious lately, and we have lost focus of the most important thing in the world, SPORTS! Here is the rundown of sport stories the Rickshaw has been following:

Hearings of Asif, Aamer and Butt: After months of speculation and venting, we finally get to the point where the three musketeers were supposed to be dished out their punishment. Oh wait, the damn verdict was delayed to the 5^th of February. Now I am not in favor of allowing any of these three to play in the World Cup, but this delay basically all rules them out of our World Cup Squad without any conviction which is just stupid. Zaheer Abbas called the delay ‘absurd’ and I have to agree with the master batsman. The funny thing is that during the hearings the three started to turn on each other, each of them having a different version of events and Butt seemed to come off the worse; he is now the only player to be under investigation for the Oval Test as well as the Lord’s Test. I have no idea what is going to happen, but it looks like Aamer may get off easier than the others, which a lot of people are okay with. Personally, I would like to see some remorse from him and a public apology but whatever, as long as the other two morons get put away I will be happy, especially Butt!

New Zealand Tour: In the midst of the madness of the hearings Pakistan cricket continued in traditional fashion. Martin Guptill, who no longer has to deal with his worst nightmare Aamer, put Pakistanis to the sword in the first two T20s as the kiwis easily won the series. In the last T20, though, Pakistan murdered and I mean MURDERED the kiwis. Never in all my life have I seen a scorecard like this one, the first 4 batsmen had ducks! Typical. Moving on, Pakistan managed to win its first test series since 2006 as Misbah has just caught fire lately. Well done Pakistan! Shame on those who say test cricket is dead, I love every second of it! Anyway that ODI’s start later today, and a strong looking Pakistan start as favorite, what do you know!

Michigan Football on the UP! After a New Year’s mauling at the hand of Mississippi State former pizza extraordinaire and current Athletic Director Dave Brandon got rid of Rich Rod. Goodbye and good riddance. Thanks for the 3 most miserable of the 4 years I got to enjoy the Big House. At least he got Denard up here though, and he is here to stay! New coach Brady Hoke managed to convince the most dynamic guy on the planet to stay, and why wouldn’t he? He is a god amongst men on campus here. I see him often in the Union, still working up the courage to say hi, one of these days… Anyway, the most awesome thing to happen after Hoke getting hired was that somehow, almost inexplicably he recruited former Ravens defensive coordinator Greg Mattison to be the defensive coordinator here. The Ravens have consisitently had the most awesome defense in the league over the past couple of years, and his hire will help us get back on the map. Michigan is on its way back baby, watch out! I don’t know what 2012 holds in store for me, but I know that even if I have to sell my house and car and goats and camels and cows, I will in order to get to Cowboys Stadium to watch Michigan vs. Alabama. Be there!

Rafa Slam: Finally our eyes turn to the Down Under where Rafael Nadal is going for the ‘Rafa Slam’. Rafa has won the last three majors and will go for an unprecedented fourth in a row, being the first guy in a lonnggggg time to hold all 4 majors at once. My personal favorite, Federer, looks a shadow of his old self, needing 5 sets to get through some no name that he already lost to twice. Things are looking good for the Spaniard!

The Pakistan I Remember

2011-01-21T14:10:00.006-05:00

In my last post I took quite a bit of flak from a few friends for being overly optimistic and not being quite in touch with reality. In hindsight perhaps I was a bit over the top, but that was the point. One point that drew particular wrath from a friend of mine was where I said 'Our Generation' was a cause of hope for the future. Maybe I wasn't quite clear about what I meant, all I was trying to get at was that Pakistan 10 years ago was on average a better live for Pakistanis then it is today. My younger brother who is 9 years younger then me does not have all the same privileges that I did while growing up. Anyway, I recently came across this wonderful piece by Manal Khan, and expresses what I am trying to say a lot better. Now the direction of the article is a little different, my top 10 was about things to look forward to whereas Manal is comparing the glory of her childhood to the current state of affairs. However the part that I really enjoyed is where Manal described the Pakistan where she grew up, and it is a Pakistan that I can relate to but my younger brother can't. Enjoy!

Hearts and Minds

2011-01-19T02:59:00.018-05:00

You’ve got to hand it to the American government: they’ve got their priorities straight and hearts in the right place when it comes to renouncing extremism. It’s a quality our representatives lack, a fact that’s become even more evident in the wake of the Taseer assassination.

Exhibit A is a speech – a wonderful, inspiring, honest speech – from Obama in remembrance of the victims of the Arizona shooting. It was a speech you wished President Zardari had the courage and temerity to give. But that, alas, is wishful thinking.

Exhibit B is a letter from Representatives Israel, Ackerman, King and McCaul, addressed to Hillary Clinton, which requests that further visas “should not be issued to people (visa holders who condone the crime) and that applications for new visas from those who have endorsed this heinous crime be denied.”

Another great gesture? Not quite.

Now I’m sure King et al. mean well but, quite frankly, the latter of these requests is one ridiculous stipulation. For multiple reasons. I am not, by any means, condoning or even tacitly supporting the Fanatic Qadri Supporters (FQS). Our stance on that is clear, obvious and appropriately sensible. What I really want to understand is how the State Department, Homeland Security and the US Government in general hope to implement this ridiculous idea and identify those who endorse the assassination.

Here are reactions to a few ideas:

(1) Stalk Facebook: Never thought those seemingly pointless hours checking out that girl from LSE would count as valuable training for professional life? Think again; the US Embassy needs YOU. It wants you to sit 9-5 scouring and stalking visa applicants for any information that suggests membership of the FQS. But that itself will be tricky: sure, the vilified Gaga/Cyrus/Qadri fans will be easy enough to detect. But what if we expand the definition of FQS members and, for example, include those not actively condemning Qadri on Facebook as a signal of tacit consent, approval and surreptitious winks for the Right? Why, I bet 80% of all internet users in Pakistan would be disqualified. Who cares, though? Jobs don’t get any sweeter.

(2) Rigorous interviewing processes: I can imagine what this process will be like, if past experiences provide any evidence of DHS competence:

“Do you support Qadri? No. What colour is your hair? Black. No, it’s dark brown. Now go into that corner until you’re ready to stop lying and renounce your extremist ways.”

Alternatively, they could be smarter and pick up on common trends members of the FQS exhibit: “Identify this song: ‘Babyy-Babyy-Babyy-ooh…’” “Umm…that’s kind of a weird question but Justin Bieber?” “Aha! I knew it: trying to slip your fanaticism past me, boy?”

(3) Pinpointing petal-showering lawyers/clerics: That’s a pretty good starting point, right? Those lawyers deserve not being able to visit Times Square for the 2012 ball drop. In fact, I’m pretty sure they’d still be marching on the streets and garlanding Qadri even if they had the option of becoming taxi drivers on Devon Street, Chicago.

(4) Stringent screening procedures: I find it extremely difficult to believe that any screening process, barring those that border on the extreme, would provide sufficient evidence of FQS membership. Even if it did, it would inevitably be questionable. And again, what if you were to expand the logical grounds for FQS membership to include tacit consent? No visas for those extremist Pakistanis, I’m afraid. But I’m sure Zaid Hamid and Ahmed Quraishi would be happy with more evidence of American Zionism (!). Next conspiracy theory: they’re just trying to round us up in one place so they can finish us all off with the next HAARP-induced flood.

So I’m sure creating a policy that bans visa issuance to Qadri supporters is the best possible way to condemn the tragic Taseer assassination while simultaneously mitigating security threats and reversing what seems to be a growing tendency of Pakistanis to endure injustice. In fact, I really think the prospect of not meeting Lady Gaga in person will get the FQS to change its views. And Rehman Malik, too. Or is there an exception for incompetent government officials in this policy?

My point, condescending sarcasm aside, is that there are no reliable and reasonable metrics to ascertain support for Qadri, especially when the bounds of the definition are stretched. Salman Taseer could have been remembered more appropriately, for example, by another exceptional speech; homeland security would have remained unchanged; and ‘growing extremist tendencies’ could have been addressed better by supporting and strengthening local policies. To expect stricter immigration rules to address the matter is, in truth, a bit like expecting Twitter to initiate an uprising in Libya.

Will The Political Establishment Wake Up?

2011-01-13T00:56:00.008-05:00

Here is an article written by Haider Raza about the recent murder of the late Salman Taseer. I could not agree more about his take on how Islam is being distorted by extremists, so I though I'd share this with you. You can read more of what Haider has to say here.

RIP Salmaan Taseer

2011-01-05T18:38:00.001-05:00

Death, as they say, has a strange way of defining legacy. In life, you have critics, detractors, even enemies. But in death, when introspection gradually turns emotions to rationality, you see a far clearer picture of what life represented.

Which is why who would have thought that Salmaan Taseer, until minutes before his death the flamboyant villain in the Sharifs' Punjabi fiefdom, would turn into a martyr for minority rights? Who would've thought that everyone from the United Nations to the United States would eulogize a man who until two years back was a peripheral figure in the country's political scene, to say the least?

The cause he championed is a critical one for Pakistan's future. But the failure of a cause is not the failure of a nation. Minority rights are a prickly issue anywhere in the world. Ask a Western European politician to speak out for Muslim immigrants and hear the silence. Even in the US, the bastion of religious freedom, the Ground Zero mosque was contentious for all and sundry (including the President, who backtracked from his initial support). This is a world enveloped in intolerance. Sadly, Pakistan ends up raising the bar from time to time.

That is where legacy comes in. Most politicians would shirk from such issues because they have deep political consequences. In violent countries like Pakistan, they have human consequences as well. So for those for whom the present trumps the future, it makes sense to acquiesce to the crowd. Many would even climb on their backs, against their principals, as we've seen happen recently. But where does that leave them when it is all said and done, and the historian picks up the pen to define them?

Clearly behind the tiny sliver who choose to take a stand, irrespective of the way the wind blows. These men and women risk it all not because of some innate goodness, but because they believe in a small thing such as hope. That standing up for what you believe might, just might, also be politically successful. Sadly, more than often it is not, and they pay for it with their lives.

Salmaan Taseer was never a great politician. Yet, his death has ignited a firestorm of opinion, some of it grotesque yes, but one that is also far and beyond the stature of the political role he had during his life. Only those who take a courageous stand and risk losing it all earn that king-sized legacy. When the emotion wears off, his killers will wonder how killing a man who raised a voice for an innocent woman implicated in a false case, was wajib-ul-qatal. When this intolerance consumes one of them, because it is only too long until there is difference of opinion on something, they will wonder why they unleashed this monster.

So, RIP Governor Sahab. They might curse you, celebrate your death, but they will never, ever forget you. No one will. That is the legacy men like you end up with.

Top 10 reasons why 2011 won't be 2012 for Pakistan

2011-01-03T18:10:00.012-05:00

In no particular order, here are 10 reasons why the upcoming year is not the end of the world (2012!) for Pakistan. There might by 100 better reasons, but this is what I could come up with, enjoy!

Mian Iftikhar: The tale of Mian Iftikhair Hussain, Information Minister for Khyber Pakhtunkhwa, is one of the most heart wrenching stories of this past year. His son was mercilessly martyred by the Taliban, and in response, Mian Sahib gave a press conference with great poise and elegance where he spoke of his loss and how he will continue to fight for what he believes in. There was no time for Mian Sahib, who soon after losing his son had to deal with the catastrophe that the floods brought, but like the true patriot that he is, he was in the news every day giving updates and asking for help. As long as even one person like Mian Iftikhar Hussain is in our government, this country has more than a hope of turning things around.

Abdul Razzaq: Abdul Razzaq has had his troubles with the Pakistan team. After being inexplicably dropped from the first T20 World Cup squad, he spent time in wilderness. While he has recently crept back into the line-up, he hasn't been the Razzaq of old, who was once compared to the great Jacques Kallis. All that changed when, in the midst of the ongoing drama serial that is Pakistan cricket, he strolled out into the middle against South Africa in Abu Dhabi. The rest, as they say, is history. Here are the last 12 balls of that epic innings. No matter how bad it gets for Pakistan cricket, we are always in with a chance. Don’t count us out of the World Cup just yet.

Pakistan Army: The Army’s ill-advised forays into politics over the last 60 years have been well documented, but things this year were different. There were no explicit political statements or moves made from the GHQ, instead they were doing what they do best, helping people. International response to the floods was slow, but from the first second the heavens opened up, the army was out there airlifting supplies and doing everything else. Let's hope that continues. Pak Fauj Zindabad!

Blackberry app: A good story to highlight the potential that Pakistan has is this one. The bestselling Blackberry app is made in Lahore. Quite the achievement!

Asma Jehangir: Umair already mentioned this, but like Aisam this is worth repeating. The lawyer community has been at the epicenter of change recently with Asma Jehangir being in the thick of things. She has made a few trips to jail for her troubles but her success this year serves as inspiration for all and in particular women to get out and do something!

Roshaneh Zafar: This story caught my eye in the New York Times a while back. The story is that of a women fighting terrorism in the way it should be done. Rather than go in guns blazing, Roshaneh Zafar goes a different route. One way to tackle terrorism is to address a major root cause: poverty. But as Zafar says in the article “Charity is limited, capitalism isn’t”. In 1996 Zafar returned to Pakistan and founded Kashf, a microfinance organization which now has up till now dispersed more the $200 million to more than 300,000 families. If that’s not a reason to believe in Pakistan than I don’t know what is.

Aisam ul haq: Again, Umair beat me to the punch by highlighting the triumph that is Aisam ul Haq Qureshi so I won’t go into much detail, but if anything belongs on this list it is Aisam’s ability to unite two countries and do his bit to remove misconceptions about Pakistan. An honorable mention is made here to the Bryan brothers, who define the sport of doubles tennis. They won the final at the US Open but were very graceful in victory and donated a share of their winnings to the Pakistani flood victims.

Our generation: The older I get the more I realized how privileged I was. Blame Musharraf for whatever you like, during his time, at least from 1999-2006 Pakistan was a stable, progressive state. The Karachi Stock Exchange was amongst the fastest growing markets in the world. Ties with India were at an all-time high, (I even got to witness a Pakistan-India cricket game at Gadaffi stadium!). Things are different now; my little brother does not get to watch a Pakistan-Bangladesh cricket game in Pindi, let alone anything else. The generations before us had to put up with the horror of Zia’s era, but we were privileged, at least I think so. There is optimism amongst our ranks to make things right again, and better than they were. The general feeling I get from talking to my friends is that we are going to go back to Pakistan with quality education to change things for the better. Only time will tell, but I have a good feeling about us.

Cowasjee: I will leave this story to the far superior writing ability of my uncle, which actually inspired me to write this piece, but to sum up, we have seen worse and got through it.

Music: through it all, our musicians have managed to inspire and a voice for a cause for change. Nothing sums that up better than this song by Atif Aslam and Strings. A special shout out to Talal and Zoi who are making waves in the music industry. With tunes like this to lead us into the future something has to go right!

2010 in Review: Between Brilliance, Bizarrity and Buffoonery

2010-12-27T15:24:00.000-05:00

Another year has come and gone, and surprise, surprise, Pakistan is still around! So, how did we do this year? Well, for a formal review you should go to a more serious blog/publication. For a more irreverent take, read on as we call out the brilliant, bizarre and buffoons who graced the country in 2010!

SPORTS:

BRILLIANT: AISAM UL HAQ
2010 was the year Aisam ul Haq broke the long-standing monopoly held by Pakistan's cricketers, by becoming the country's most celebrated sportsman. More than his achievements on court (reaching two Grand Slam finals, becoming the highest-ranked Pakistani tennis player in history), what was more impressive was the manner in which he went about attaining the honors. He partnered with an Indian at a time of great anti-Indian opinion back home, then delivered a stirring, post-match speech at the US Open in New York (great symbolism), and finally topped it of by becoming a UNDP ambassador and visiting flood-affected areas long after the issue had disappeared from public memory. In a difficult year, Aisam gave everyone something to be proud of.

BIZARRE: SHAHID AFRIDI AND THE TEST RETIREMENT
Who takes over the country's Test captaincy, says all the right things in the run up to a critical tour, promises to be a role model to younger players, and then quits after one game? Who else but Mr. Boom Boom himself. That he won this honor over other bizarre freak shows like the Zulqarnain Haider escapade, Ijaz Butt's match fixing counter-accusation-and-then-back down, and his own ball-biting episode in Australia, is a testament to Afridi's religious adherence to eccentricity.

BUFFOON:

Enough said.

POLITICS:

BRILLIANT: THE 18TH AMENDMENT
When it is all said and done, the current PPP government will be remembered for orchestrating the most comprehensive constitutional reform in the last 30 years. That they achieved it with broad political consensus made it even more impressive. Kudos to the brilliant Raza Rabbani and the Parliamentary Committee that worked diligently to satisfy all the warring interests and doing what few people thought was possible.

BIZARRE: THE ALL-PAKISTAN MUSLIM LEAGUE
When Pir Pagara, Chaudhry Shujaat Hussain and Sheikh Rasheed Ahmed joined hands to launch this alliance, many thought the country's political landscape would change. Instead, what followed was the most bizarre sequence of events. First, the Chaudhries backed out of the proposed coalition, to be replaced by their PMLQ rebels (called the 'Like Minded Group' whatever that means). Then Zafarullah Jamali, the proposed leader of the steering committee, resigned after failing to convince Nawaz Sharif (who theoretically would be the party's main opponent) to come on board (?). To add more confusion, the party changed its name to the 'Muttahida Muslim League', and its leader claimed that Bilawal Bhutto would become its secretary. All this while, Pir Pagara's party remains a part of the government and recently said it would not be a part of any attempts to topple it. Seriously, WTF.

BUFFOON: THE RIGHT TO BE CORRUPT?
We all know that Pakistani governments are corrupt. I mean its a given, like the color of milk is white, and the sky is blue. But which idiot actually goes out and says they 'deserve' their share in corruption? Well, this guy:

LAW AND JUDICIARY:

BRILLIANT: ASMA JEHANGIR
Despite a last-minute smear campaign by a despicably-low lobby, Asma Jehangir became the country's first female Supreme Court Bar Association President. Even more importantly, she is the first President in recent times to live up to her job title, and not act as the Court's spokesperson. A woman of character and courage.

BIZARRE: THE RAHAT FATEH ALI BLASPHEMY CASE
A woman petitioned a district court in Lahore against a verse in the lyrics of one of Rahat Fateh Ali Khan's brilliant songs sung in India. She accused the singer of blasphemy and hurting her 'religious sentiments and that of other Muslims'. While there were many blasphemy cases in the country this year (none of which were funny), this one takes the cake for its inanity!

BUFFOONERY: THE FACEBOOK BAN
Justice Ijaz Chaudhry of the Lahore High Court banned Facebook in Pakistan for a week after controversial content pertaining to Prophet Muhammad appeared on the site. To be fair to him, thousands of Pakistanis also marched against Facebook and there was a user-led week long boycott of the site as well. That most of these users were secretly on Facebook (yeah, we know you turned off Chat), and would promptly return en mass to the site within a few days ensured that this fiasco left a collective egg on the face of Pakistan.

JOURNALISM:

BRILLIANT: CYRIL ALMEIDA
The addition of two major newspapers in a year has meant an almost claustrophobic wealth of English-language op-eds and opinions. Which makes Cyril Almeida's brilliant weekly column in Dawn even more impressive. Rising over the pervasive clutter with incisive and consistently on-the-mark thoughts, Almeida made Pakistani politics simpler for all of us scratching our heads.

So awesome that we ignore his weird Dawn avatar.

BIZARRE: SHAHEEN SEHBAI AND THE REKO DIK AFFAIR
The $200 billion corruption story was plastered across the Internet by all and sundry. In fact, it was possibly the most shared story on my Facebook feed. The sound of billions of dollars of corruption and Asif Ali Zardari had people salivating with anger. If only they had researched more. That's because the instigator of episode was Mr. Shaheen I-Hate-Zardari Sehbai, reputed for his ridiculously wild brand of journalism. Thankfully, Cafe Pyala was there to puncture the hype and bust Mr. Sehbai and The News' anti-government hormones.

BUFFOONERY: THE MUSHARRAF OP-ED BY ANSAR ABBASI
Read this gem of an op-ed by Ansar Abbasi, appropriately titled 'Hypocrite, coward Musharraf blows hot air but will never return', following the launch of Pervez Musharraf's political party. Now we know Mr. Abbasi is not the biggest Musharraf supporter, but this hate letter masquerading as analysis was something else. How this made it to the front page of one of Pakistan's leading English language newspaper is really beyond me. In fact, reading it convinced me that somewhere along the line, the author must have thought of inserting the phrase, 'F**k you Musharraf', but better sense probably prevailed. Because knowing The News' editors, it might just have made it to the papers.

GLOBAL COVERAGE OF PAKISTAN

BRILLIANT: THE NEW YORK TIMES ON TAXES
Great story by Sabrina Tavernise on how the lack of taxation is hurting Pakistan.

BIZARRE: PAKISTANI COMEDIANS FIGHT TALIBAN WITH HUMOR
Sigh

BUFFOONERY: PAKISTAN LEADS THE WORLD IN PORN (NOT)

Excellent rebuttal here.

FINALLY, PEOPLE OF THE YEAR:

In a year when a fifth of Pakistanis were affected by the worst humanitarian catastrophe in recent times, many in the country rose to fill the gargantuan hole left by ineffective government. In particular, the Pakistan Youth Alliance, a group of incredible individuals, has worked tirelessly, long after both local and global coverage of the floods faded. As the winter gathers steam, the group continues to function, deliver aid to areas, and belie the notion that Pakistan's youth is aloof. Hats off to you, good sirs.

AND, BECAUSE WE CAN'T GET OVER CRICKET, THE MOMENT OF THE YEAR:
Watch this Pakistan, and pray something like this comes up next year:

Happy New Year to all!

Imran Khan: The Hypocrisy and the Greatness

2010-12-14T01:57:00.014-05:00

After a few jibes from my beloved co-authors of the rickshaw, I finally am getting around to blogging again, but - more than guilt - what got me to blog was an article I read in the paper the other day, which got my blood boiling. I simply HAD to write about it. The one and only Imran Khan the other day was reported in Dawn News, saying Pakistan should wait on hearing the verdict on Asif and Aamer to see if they would be able to participate in the upcoming World Cup. The article is fairly innocuous, and was only really an after-thought in the side of the paper, not headline news or anything. However, it caught my eye and drew my fury. Imran Khan, the supposedly ‘clean’ politician, who has built his utterly unsuccessful political career by taking the high road, is implying that we should welcome back these two bastards with open arms as, “without these two bowlers, our attack is not potent.”

To quickly re-visit the issue of spot-fixing, I can say beyond a shadow of a doubt that the 3 players currently under investigation are about as innocent as O. J. Simpson. The only thing that remains to be seen is how harsh the ICC wish to be. In a previous article, I called for jail time for all those involved, though that is unlikely bans seem a certainty at this point. And hopefully this isn’t the PCB style ban which lasts about as long as the attention span of a 2-year old. Yet despite this, Mr. Khan is willing to overlook how these two bowlers shamed the nation and went against everything Pakistani cricket should stand for so that we have a more ‘potent’ bowling attack.

Of course, Imran Khan is not alone in his sentiments and even I will admit that it would be awesome to watch them bowl again. Let us not, however, forget the fact that Aamer and Asif disgraced the nation by participating in unlawful activities to indulge their own personal greed. I can’t think of anything more un-Islamic two representatives of the ‘Islamic Republic of Pakistan’ can do.

Now here is what really gets me. Of all the people to be guilty of this oversight, Imran Khan should be the last one. Over the last couple of years, he has become less of a politician and more of a stand-up comedian. All he can ever talk about is Zardari’s corruption. Granted, there is probably no one as corrupt and un-qualified to run a country as our current president, but harping on about it hasn’t done anyone any good. 2 years on and Mr. Zardari sits very comfortably in his home on Constitution Avenue while Imran Khan becomes even more irrelevant on the political scene. I remember one particular talk show where Imran Khan was on alongside a young representative of PPP and Mr. Khan put the simple question to the youngster of how Zardari is the second richest man in Pakistan without ever having worked a day in his life. The young man tried to reply but before he could get two words in, the arrogant ass that is contemporary Imran Khan interrupted him. He seemed so utterly overwhelmed and amused that anyone could even think to defend Zardari. Instead of allowing the guy to trip and fall on his own, Imran Khan decided to hog the limelight and his point was lost in satiating the demands of his burgeoning ego.

I’m rambling on here about my many grievances with Imran Khan but the point is: for a guy who claims to be honest and ridicules others for not being so, it is the height of hypocrisy to be suggesting that Aamer and Asif be considered for team selection. He should instead be condemning their behavior so as to discourage future generations of Pakistani cricketers from going down the same path that Salim Malik, Ata-ur-Rehman, etc. and many others have walked.

The saddest part about Imran Khan is that he truly is a misguided great man. No matter how much stupidity he seems to display he will in my mind - as well as the mind of others - be remembered foremost for his contributions to Pakistan, which include winning a World Cup, building a free cancer hospital, and a university in Mianwali. He was also at the forefront of the flood relief efforts and he is one of - if not the most - trusted figures as far as charity work/philanthropy goes. If I had a million dollars to give to charity, I would give it to Imran Khan. I say all of this not as an afterthought but as a reminder of how great Imran Khan can be, and how hurtful and disheartening it is to see him spend his days doing stand-up comedy of how his dog is insulted by the comparisons to Zardari.

The Winner of the 2010 Ballon d'Or!

2010-12-08T17:52:00.003-05:00

So I was thinking who would win this year's Ballon d'Or, and I found myself in the same conundrum as many footballers playing against them: who to pick, Xavi or Iniesta? They're both World Cup winners with Spain, everything-possible-winners with Barcelona, and arguably the best midfield duo to have graced the game. Their telepathic exchanges are stuff of legends. So if I were FIFA, I'd do the honorable thing and give it to:

Xaviniesta?

Both.

Yeah, both. This might sound silly, but choosing between these two fine men is unjust. Would Xavi be Xavi without Iniesta? Would Iniesta be Iniesta without Xavi? Would Barca or Spain win it all with just one of them? Hell, just watch this:

And that's why FIFA should make an exception this year, and give the award to both of them. Like a joint award. Just say the managers poll was tied or something. I mean they're FIFA, and based on what we saw and heard about the World Cup 2018/2022 selection process, pretty much everything is possible in football's headquarters! This time though, I'm sure the world will understand.

Top 10: Ways in Which Pakistan is Still in the '90s

2010-11-18T12:45:00.017-05:00

One of the standard narratives emerging from the 24-hour news channel era is that modern-day Pakistan is a very different country from the past. The frame of reference in this case is the 1990s, the last time the country experimented with democracy. As most political analysts will tell you it is a very different country. It has a lot more people to start off with. Add to that a shift in geographic, economic and cultural trends, and you cannot help but embrace the whole idea.

But how much has Pakistan actually changed? Perhaps more importantly, how much have those who matter in Pakistan changed? A good way to check is to compare events, headlines and popular perceptions between the two eras. Here's a list of 10 such things we heard most often in the 1990s. We hear these today as well, albeit in different shapes and forms. It might just be me, but there is certainly a case for some irony here.

To be clear, this is not a list of our opinions. It’s just what the standard narrative was back then. Now keep in mind some of the stuff you hear today, and compare how similar it sounds to the 90s. Whether this is history repeating itself, is a question we'll leave for you to answer. Without further ado, let's get into the time machine:

1. The PPP is no longer the party of Bhutto

BB is nothing like her father. She is corrupt, inept and has sidelined all her father's closest advisors. This party is doomed and will be wiped out in 5 years max.

2. The MQM is Evil

The MQM is an establishment-run mafia controlling Karachi via gunpoint. Their hobbies include ethnic warfare, listening to Altaf bhai's speeches and dreaming about entering Punjab.

3. Nawaz Sharif is with the establishment..no with the mullahs..no with the Saudis..or US..

No one has a clue who Nawaz Sharif is with. It might be entirely possible that he is cahoots with all four of those actors. I mean at one point during his second reign, he handed the civilian administration to the Army, declared intentions to become the Amir-ul-Momineen and was also BFFs with Bill Clinton. All at the same time. Or perhaps different times. No one knows. Speculation is that neither does he.

OK, maybe some things have changed.

4. The Army has rebuilt its image and is back in control

After the disastrous decade of Zia’s dictatorship, which ended with mass protests and a yearning for democratic rule, the military retreated to the barracks. Within months though, it has not only rehabilitated its image but also grabbed control of its favorite toys, the defense and foreign ministries. For good measure, it has also brokered a conclusion to a political dispute involving the judiciary, Prime Minister and President (circa 1993). Not surprisingly, many are calling for an outright coup.

Sometime in the future.

5. The Judiciary is a political actor

It is used various times by the government, military and by the President to undermine, dismiss or even restore incumbency. The relationship between the government and the Supreme Court is uncomfortable with the constant threat of corruption charges being taken up by the apex court. Prominent examples include 1993 and 1998.

6. Extremism and militancy threaten the soul of the country

Shias and Sunnis are killing each other. Extremist organizations are gaining strength, most enjoying the patronage of the intelligence agencies. There is an assasination attempt on the life of Prime Minister Nawaz Sharif. The world fears what a fundamentalist-run Pakistan would look like.

7. The economy is in the midst of an IMF-overseen disaster

The combination of the IMF's austerity plan and a clueless Finance Ministry has ensured that the economy is moving laterally, not forward or backward. There is a debt crisis on the horizon and soon the only way to get out of the IMF's grip will be to take on another IMF plan.

8. Our eyes are on India but our legs are in Afghanistan

According to the concept of strategic depth, we must have a pliant government in Kabul to achieve the GHQ’s dream of parity with New Delhi. Except that Kabul is a quagmire and New Delhi is and will always remain a bigger, stronger entity. Crucially, no one in the GHQ is concerned about the domestic repurcussions of this policy. So while the country is awash in guns and drugs, the generals barter for more F-16s and geopolitical recognition for their role in Afghanistan.

9. The best cricketer in the land is a left-arm fast bowler with a secret power

Wasim Bhai is the finest left-arm fast bowler in the world. He wins a World Cup at a very young age and then proceeds to destroy England in a Test series. He also has a 'secret power’. And no, it’s not that inswinger.

Wasim bhai and some dude who also bowls left-arm fast.

10. The Jang Group is a (insert curse word here)

Yeah. They always were.

Postscript: So yeah, some things never change. Or they do, but via design or accident, are pulled back to look like replicas from history. Next time: 10 Ways Pakistan has Changed from the 1990s!

Change Can Happen...

2010-10-27T08:33:00.010-04:00

...you just need Photoshop. Or, in the case of the esteemed Supreme Court Bar Association (SCBA), just Microsoft Paint.

Now, in case you've grown tired of tire-burning lawyers and haven't been keeping up with developments in the legal world, let me give you the background: polling for the SCBA executive council elections are today, which is particularly interesting since it pits human rights activist Asma Jehangir against the right-wing 'Professional Group.'

But the elections themselves aren't as fascinating as the election poster they've put up on the website (http://www.scbap.org/):

Why does it look familiar?

Is it:

(1) the red-and-white stripes of the American flag in the top-right corner?

(2) the all-too-familiar and hopeful message of "change"?

(3) the African-American man raising a hand to acknowledge the struggle of lawyers?

(4) The Caucasian dude pointing out the failures of the PPP government?

Now let's look at another picture:

Indeed, sir, change can happen.

Help Me Help Fatima Bhutto!

2010-10-07T11:17:00.004-04:00

There was a time when a lot of people thought that Fatima Bhutto was the future of the Bhutto dynasty and, by extension, the future of Pakistan itself. After all, she was smart, articulate, popular, pretty (hey, just saying) and mercifully lacked the ego-maniacal gene of her family. Did I mention she was critical of Pervez Musharraf when most of us were in a love affair with him? That she wrote a beautiful collection of poetry about the 2005 earthquake? Clearly an ideal future leader, right? Well, not quite.

This story starts the day Asif Zardari became Pakistan's President and Fatima's world (and some say her brain) turned upside down. Zardari is the man she blames for her father's assasination; Mir Murtaza was tragically killed in a 'police-encounter' during Benazir Bhutto's second reign. Despite sufficient evidence, the allegations were never proven in court and as Fatima's half of the family watched in anguish, Zardari not only found himself out of bars, but then miraculously traded prison for presidential palace.

Not suprisingly this did not sit well with dear ol' Fatima. But few would have imagined how her immaculate public composure would plummet. Her incisive columns in The News turned into meaningless rants against a toothless and rather new government. The fact that she did it from the platform of a staunch PPP opponent made the critique biased and ruthless. Everything from the lack of public schools to the proliferation of mosquitoes in the country was blamed on the Presidency. Interview conversation switched from her knowledge of the country's problems to her childhood trauma. Loyal followers (and there were many) grew tired, some started turning away and others (me) started complaining.

So like every self-respecting journalist (which is what she calls herself) faced with an objective dilemma, she did the obvious. She decided to write a book! Now I didn't read the book myself, but based on her last few columns, I have a very strong hunch that it is more or less composed of three lines:

Benazir and Zardari had my father killed.
Benazir and Zardari really had my father killed.
Benazir and Zardari actually had my father killed.

The cover of Fatima's book. Kidding!

Suffice to say, few read the book. Most domestic reviewers gave it scathing reviews. To make matters worse, the West had an opposite view, devouring it as a heroic tale. The global feting and book signings convinced Fatima of a pre-conceived conspiracy against her back home. Hence, she stopped talking to Pakistani journalists or writing in Pakistani publications altogether. The News was out, The Daily Beast was in. When that didn't sit well, she went on to claim that everyone in Pakistan criticising her was actually a PPP agent. When Declan Walsh, the Guardian's Afghanistan- Pakistan editor, joined the chorus, Fatima called him a PPP agent too. At this point, no one seemed immune from being labelled an agent of the country's largest political party. Many wondered who'd be next to receive the treatment from Fatima's famous Twitter account.

Three names came to mind:

1. Cafe Pyala, a blog that called out Fatima for getting her anthropology wrong. They are anonymous too, a hallmark of PPP supporters and of course agents too.
2. Mohammad Asif, a man who brought shame to Pakistan via his corruption. Just like another guy. Who also shares his name, starting with an A? Get it? Good.
3. Five Rupees, who admitted to being on the PPP payroll, and once even put it on top of their blog! Jeez. Also, switched from a popular, easy-to-access blog to an ugly, impossible-to-comment-on blog. Much like what Zardari did to the PPP.

But then somewhere along the line I also feel sorry for Fatima. I mean, what is she supposed to do? As a journalist people question her objectivity. As an author, they question her creativity. As a politician, they question...wait what she's a politician too?! Well, she's a Bhutto so you cannot not be a politician, and despite poor Fatima's dreams of being an apolitical crusader, by her own admission she was campaigning for her mother's party when Benazir was assasinated.

So readers, the question is what should Fatima do now? I don't want her to be irrelevant and a laughing stock. She's too good (and pretty) for that. Plus, the other Bhutto kids are kind of uncool, and not fun to talk about. So it really would be a tragedy if she just fell flat. I suggest a career change. On top of my head I could think of three possible ones:

1. She should become a full-fledged politician ala Sassi Palejo or Marvi Memon. Both of them make a lot of noise, and in the grand scheme of things are rather irrelevant, but they're still important. If that makes sense.
2. She should join the ISI's Zardari Defamation League. She'll have friends there too! i.e: the entire staff of her former employer, The News.
3. If all else fails, she could ask Shoaib Mansoor to replace Iman Ali with herself. She looks like her, and could have pulled off Iman's hilariously bad British accent in Khuda Kay Liye better than her. Fact.

There's still hope Fatima. Atleast, I'm pulling for you!

The Change Pakistan Needs...Now!

2010-10-01T10:12:00.004-04:00

So while I have been lazy and not writing anything, my cousin has been at it and came up with this interesting article about the need for more competence in the civilian government:

Pakistan is at a very crucial junction in her short and warped history. With the annual monsoon rains wreaking havoc and the armed forces stretched thin from providing relief to citizens from floods and militants, we are at our wits end. The irony here is that the political elite ceases to wake up and smell the rotten political air that has clouded Pakistan. Bickering over whether the Army should take over or how corrupt the current crop of politicians are, seems to have become a permanent feature in our national discourse. But the real question to be asked is – how do we pick ourselves up once our political elite has pounded us into the ground?

Why are 180 million held hostage to our politicians? With the National Reconciliation Ordinance hovering in the background in 2008, mixed with the unfortunate assassination of Benazir Bhutto, the PPP managed to garner enough votes to form the Federal government. They started of by installing the largest cabinet in history with tens of Federal Ministers, along with granting Minister-at-large status to many PPP stalwarts. I believe that although these Ministers carried with them a vote from the people, their appointment to some of the crucial Ministries is questionable, and detrimental.

In a Parliamentary form of democracy, the Prime Minister enjoys the right to appoint any elected politician to a particular ministry. Why does our democratic system – which should epitomize transparency and accountability – not have a vetting process for those members nominated to take charge of critical ministries? Why has such a process been absent from our political discourse when appointing Federal Ministers?

What needs to be condemned is the lack of professionals taking part in the political process. There are over 60 members of Parliament who enjoy the status of a Federal Minister within Pakistan today. Unfortunately, only a few are technocrats who have secured a portfolio to bring back Pakistan from the abyss. Information and Technology, Commerce, Industries & Production, Law, Education are only a few Ministries that require the need for adept candidates. These Ministries need to be taken over by qualified, skilled professionals who know the intricacies of such dense portfolios. Leaving them to be looked after by shrewd politicians will only confine us to the black hole we are stuck in today.

The question then arises, how should professionals be incorporated into the political system where they match the legitimacy of those who have secured a mandate from the electorate? A few options come to the forefront. First, technocrats become part of the ballot and seek votes to become a Member of Parliament. The second option is to enhance the capabilities of the Civil Service, which has brutally been ignored over the years and is currently being left to rot. Such an institution would groom competent and proficient individuals who would have the capacity to run the affairs of Ministries that require delicate attention. The third alternative is an amendment to our Constitution that would empower the Parliamentary Committees. This would allow elected officials to thoroughly scrutinize a nominee for a Federal Minister. Such individuals could be political or apolitical, but will gain legitimacy after having being vetted by those representing the electorate. Introducing this clause can provide specialization of labor, demand for greater qualifications and increase the quality of those seeking to be Ministers.

The above-mentioned solutions to our fractured Parliamentary system are farsighted but not out of reach. However, with the current state of affairs, we need to achieve a more viable resolution that would reform the current battered methodology of appointing Ministers.

Pakistan is not deficient in professionals. For the fiscal year 2010, Pakistan received $8.906 billion in the form of remittances. In order to bring about a game-changing solution – by addressing issues of the middle class – the Federal government (political parties) needs to seek out professionals. The Senate could be used to elect certain professionals in order to allow them to become part of the Cabinet. Thus, political parties need to utilize their political capital and assist proficient individuals in securing votes.

By bringing professionals into the arena, the Federal government can create efficiency within the Cabinet, free itself from big governance, empower the middle-class, gain public support and have a better chance of getting re-elected in the general elections. Such a move would allow elected members to devote greater time in their constituents (the reason for their election) by addressing social issues, while not having to delve on the intricacies of running critical Ministries.

The practice of placing subordinates to essential Ministries – who will toe the party line and uphold the status quo – can only cause more damage to a weakened nation. Our feeble and fragile democratic system needs to be challenged, but challenged through the political system. The Army is not a solution – and those with ranks on their shoulders need to be kept at bay. It is due to the incompetence of many Ministries across the board that has increased the call for a change in government. I am not endorsing such a policy, as it would be detrimental for the country - at this point in time. What Pakistan requires is a change within the political set-up that would cater to public sentiment and give power to an evaporated middle-class.

TBR: Last Week In Charts

2010-09-27T06:23:00.032-04:00

So I’m trying out a new kind of post: compressing the week gone by into charts.

Why am I doing this? Maybe because it makes the three of us look smart. But mostly because it’s amusing and I admit I wanted to test out some new graphs and models before I tried them out at work.

The events I chose from the past week are as follows, listed by alphabets:

A. Ejaz Butt and his foot-in-mouth moment;

B. Petrol scarcity across Pakistan;

C. Violence in Karachi following the murder of Imran Farooq;

D. SC -warranted arrests of Brig. Imtiaz, former head of Intelligence Bureau/OGDC MD;

E. PPP reconsiders alliance with MQM;

F. Pakistan’s economic ranking falls;

G. PILDAT study of MNA assets and reaction from politicians;

H. Faculties protest, shut down universities over higher ed. cuts;

I. Introduction of private high treason bill in NA;

J. PAC denied information over ambiguous ISI spending;

K. NATO admits to pursuing militants across Pakistan border;

L. PM discusses future of Pakistan with Bilawal;

M. Alliance of PML factions suggested;

N. Musharraf reported to enjoy widespread support in Pakistan;

O. Indian FO offers talks with Pakistan over Kashmir;

P. Aafia Siddiqui sentenced to 86 years in jail;

Q. New competition bill passed;

R. Minister Jatoi sacked for remarks on Army, CJ; and

S. NRO beneficiaries reported to face axe.

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First, here’s graph 1, which maps out the progression of political drama as the week went by (click image to enlarge).

How to read the graph: The high-drama events are shown by a dark-blue bar that heads upwards. The low-drama events (the ones you would want to see hyped, debated and deliberated but weren’t) are shown by lighter-blue bars headed downwards from the top of the dark-blue bars, cutting into the total drama. The letters used in the list above correspond to the relevant bars in the graph.

So, some interesting points to note: drama last week was at its lowest when university faculty rallied against cuts to higher education funding, shutting down university campuses across the country. At the same time during the week, the opposition introduced a rather controversial bill that, if passed, would allow citizens to initiate legal proceedings against individuals for high treason.

The high point, on the other hand, comes at the end of the week: with news that Pakistanis now support Musharraf overwhelmingly being followed by the Afia Siddiqui verdict, Minister Jatoi’s sacking and the news that NRO beneficiaries may be headed out of the government.

At the end of it all, we see that cumulative drama was +190, which shows that our politicians are drama queens and we are a willing audience.

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Now let’s translate this graph into another (graph 2) to see how hype corresponded with actual significance (click image to enlarge).

In this graph, look at quadrant IV – here are the usual suspects: higher education, the economy and changes to legal frameworks. These are all aspects that actually count and make a difference in the way the state interacts with people.

Quadrant II has important political developments, which actually shows that about half the things causing a frenzy last week were actually important.

Then there’s quadrant I: the useless consultations with Bilawal, Ejaz Butt putting the proverbial foot in the mouth, issues of sovereignty as NATO admits to crossing over the Pakistan border (face it, it’s probably happened before) and, of course, Afia Siddiqui. These are the things that captured our imaginations but had little real significance.

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The lesson: I’ll leave you free to draw your conclusions. But there’s one overarching lesson – obvious but often forgotten – to be drawn from all of this: that the developments that draw the least attention in the media and the political scene are often the ones most significant.

Standing Up for the Wrong Reasons

2010-09-09T09:33:00.004-04:00

While surfing the news this morning I came across two stories dominating the American news scene which were focused on the ‘radical’ perspective.

First, BBC’s headline ‘Obama condemns Koran burning plan’ and in the subsequent two lines that follow the headline to draw the reader in ‘US President Barack Obama says a small church's plans to burn the Koran are a "recruitment bonanza" for al-Qaeda.’ Now while I applaud President Obama’s stance to condemn such an awful, disgusting act the take away point here is not the ‘recruitment bonanza’ the Al-Qaeda is going to have. The planned burning of the Quran is a slap in the face of every Muslim not only in America but everywhere around the world. It is wrong to do because it is insensitive, disrespectful and quite honestly appalling to even be thought of. It is also furthers the growing misconception in America of equating Islam and Muslims with terrorism.

Now to be fair, the Taliban and Al-Qaeda members do claim to be Muslims but as far I or any other Muslim with half a brain are concerned, they are the farthest thing from it, and we must make a concentrated effort for people to realize that. By burning the Quran to denounce terrorism, one automatically equates the world’s 1.2 billion Muslims as terrorists. That is wrong, and that is why this pastor should be stopped, by persuasion and legal methods of course. What the international media and in particular the American media seems to be focusing on is that the pastor should be stopped so as not to add further fuel to fire that is Al-Qaeda. The impression that one gets is that the main and perhaps only reason to not burn the Qurans is so that Al-Qaeda doesn’t have more incentive to carry out attacks. The fact that American lives are at risk more because of this is an unfortunate truth, and it is not just American lives, Iraqis, Afghans and Pakistanis suffer the most casualties as far as terrorism is concerned.

But that is not a reason to do anything, one point I do agree with this deranged Florida pastor on is that we cannot bend to the terrorists will. So don’t take their feelings into consideration. Don’t burn the Quran because it is wrong, not because it will cause Al-Qaeda and others to have more incentive carry out more attacks, but because you offend an entire population of 1.2 billion people. In fairness to President Obama, I do believe that was his main point, and he added the ‘recruitment bonanza’ point as a side note, but that is the point the press seemed to latch upon.

The second piece of news that I came across was in relation to the ongoing saga ‘Park 51’ or the ‘Ground Zero mosque’. Now enough has been said and written about this already but this latest piece in the New York times describes how again the Imam of the mosque says that changing of location could ‘spur radicals’. Refer to all arguments above for why the focus of any policy decision should not take the Al-Qaeda perspective into consideration. Park 51 should not be moved because the developers have every constitutional right to build a community center. It is further away from ground zero than a prayer center that already exists, and about the same proximity to ground zero as some fast food joints amongst other things.

But you all have heard these arguments before, the point here is that why is the Imam talking about how Al-Qaeda will react to changing the location. If we start to thinking about what the radicals want in every step of our lives, might as well move to Mecca for the rest of our lives. Just a sidenote about the imam, described as at one point radical by various American news channel, he closed his Larry King Live interview from which the New York Times article was based on by wishing all Jews a happy Rosh Hashana. Wow, real radical stuff there Imam.

The purpose of the article is not to undermine the threat that radicals pose. President Obama and Imam Rauf are probably spot on in their thinking of how the Al-Qaeda and similar organizations will react to the burning of the Quran or moving of Park 51, but we cannot let that dictate how a policy decision should be made, one way or the other.

Top 10: Myths About Pakistan's Cricket Scandal

2010-09-05T01:42:00.007-04:00

As Pakistan's cricketers find themselves in a hole due to spot-fixing charges, a disappointed fan base has gone from being angry, to being ashamed, and finally into downright denial about the whole episode. I'm not saying the cricketers are guilty, but there is plenty of evidence, and unfortunately most of it points in one direction. Here are ten things I've heard, all of whom portray an incorrect version of what is going on. Most of it is common sense, but then not a lot of people seem to see through that lens when it comes to cricket.

10. The 'innocent until proven guilty' defense.

How wonderfully convenient. Going by this logic, guess who else is innocent? Yeah, this guy:

Also, innocent until proven guilty?

How many of us have not taken potshots at him in the last 2.5 years? Didn't quite remember the golden ideal of law then did we? There is enough evidence against Butt & co. to guarantee an interrogation by EVERYONE - that means the media and you and me.

9. This is an elaborate conspiracy to bring down Pakistan cricket.

Unless I was sleeping all this time, Pakistan isn't the West Indian team of the 80s or the Aussies of the previous decade. In fact, this is a team that has won a grand total of 1 Test match in the last 3 years, until this summer. There does not need to be a conspiracy to bring them down. They're pretty down already.

8. This ALWAYS happens to us on tours to England.

For starters, we've been accused of ball-tampering in England, but never of match-fixing. In any case when something wrong does happen to us on tours to England, we've fought for it and come out on the winning side. At the Oval in 2006 Inzamam took the right stand, because he was innocent, and eventually Pakistan cricket came out with its head held high. Ditto Wasim and Waqar in 1992 and Imran vs Botham before. If Butt & co. were innocent, they would've done an Inzamam and come out with guns blazing protesting their innocence. Instead, the crisis is a good 7 days old and not yet have any of the accused come out and said three simple words: 'I am innocent'. That says alot.

7. News of the World is a trashy tabloid. Don't believe in it.

Contrary to popular opinion, Mazhar Majeed did not come on the media's radar via NotW. He came on it via good ol' Jang. In a report on July 27th, veteran journalist Abdul Majid Bhatti clearly pointed at Majeed and warned that he was involved in match-fixing with the team. So the buck started at home, not NoTW. In any case, Mazhar Mahmood, the reporter at NoTW, who uncovered this saga, has a pretty good resume in this craft. He has helped blow the lid of British parliamentarians and the country's immigration policy amongst other things. Most of these stories proved to be true. So I wouldn't base my opinion simply around a newspaper's reputation.

6. The video could have been dated after the no-balls were bowled.

Does it not occur to anyone that if we were smart enough to think of this point, it would also be the FIRST thing the Scotland Yard might have also looked at? Unless, you think the Yard is also part of the conspiracy, at which point you should stop reading this.

5. This is a RAW conspiracy to use Indian bookies and bring down Pakistan.

Head, meet wall.

4. Mohammed Aamer is a kid, he didn't know what he was doing.

My 12-year old sister thinks what Aamer did was wrong. If she can think of this, so can Aamer. Should he be banned for life? I don't think he will, because the ICC's laws take past record and a player's age into account, but for God's sake, stop pretending as if he's a little kid who did not know what he was doing. If anything his precocious talent and off-field interviews show that he's not a naive, shorts-wearing, lollipop-eating infant many in Pakistan are projecting him as.

3. A lack of education and a village background is responsible for corrupting cricketers.

Two words: Salman Butt. The alleged ringleader of this scam is an educated, relatively affluent Lahori boy from Beaconhouse (one of Pakistan's best schools). Greed is universal, not restricted by education or income. In any case, saying that what Asif and Aamer did was because they were raised in a village is an insult to the 60% of Pakistan's population who live in rural areas, and make a living of honest means.

Not very uneducated, or is he?

2. It's just 4 or 6 guys, the rest are OK.

If it was so easy for an 18-year old to cheat, I doubt if someone older and more experienced wouldn't dab into this once in a while. This is when you feel sorry for Butt & co. Everyone was doing it forever, it was just they who got caught.

1. Pakistan cricket is ruined.

In my 15 years as a fan I have seen Pakistan cricket 'ruined' more times than I can remember (often in the space of a few months!). Each time we grew a crop of talented players, beat an England or an Australia, won a tournament or two and all was good. Rest assured, it's gonna be this way again. As the 'who-the-hell-is-she' individual in this scenario, Asif's ex-girlfriend Veena Malik, says, there is a 'Mohamamd Asif in every street of Pakistan'. She's right ( though I feel highly disturbed at the thought of agreeing with her). Point is, we lost a couple of fast bowlers, we'll get more. If we can replace Wasim and Waqar within months of their retirement, we can replace Asif and Aamer in much, much less time. Have some faith.

In the end, just to clarify, I'm not passing a judgement on the players' fate. I just feel those defending them need to be more creative (and realistic).

The Case for Pakistani Authors in Op-Ed Pages

2010-09-01T05:13:00.006-04:00

Among the aspects of the international coverage of Pakistan's catastrophic floods appears to be an increased appetite for perspective from the country's stellar cast of fiction writers. Hence, opinion pages of the New York Times, The Guardian and the Financial Times have recently featured the likes of Mohammed Hanif, Mohsin Hamid, Daniyal Mueenuddin and Kamila Shamsie.

This makes for interesting reading, primarily because much of the conversation in the Western press usually revolves around the country's militancy problem, and is thus dictated by journalists, political scientists and policy-makers.

The writers trained in those disciplines provide great insight and analysis, but are often hampered by an inability to capture the humanitarian angle. Some rely exclusively on cold, hard numbers (i.e. 20% of Pakistan is under water), others use a token quote from a randomly-selected subject. The focus is on establishing facts. The faces that make up those facts don't really figure.

That makes for compelling reading for someone who goes through 12 newspapers everyday and understands the difference between North and South Waziristan. But for the vast majority who don't, such analysis is informative but disengaging, and thus ultimately ineffective.

Which is why during a tragedy as vast and destructive as the floods, it is good to see fiction writers capturing the raw humanity of the crisis in thoughtful prose. It might be fluff for those who formulate policy, but for the rest of the world it is eye-opening and often underpins donor aid, based on the sheer emotion it elicits.

Of course, not everyone agrees. Cafe Pyala recently featured an argument against the exclusivity (a valid claim but one that I feel has more to do with the international reputation of the authors rather than a bias against others) and naivety of fiction writers on opinion pages. The core of this argument was:

The more insidious problem is that some of these writers end up believing their own hype and think they actually have it all figured out, going beyond humanizing stories with anecdotes and observation to presenting solutions. So we have Shamsie blaming these floods on the timber mafia, Hanif trying to make a point against the Taliban scare by claiming that there is no indigenous word for terrorism in Sindhi or Seraiki, and Mueenuddin raising the specter of the radicalization of and revolution by the displaced and hungry to explain why those people should be helped out.

In a way Pyala is correct. Those solutions are not backed by facts or meticulous analysis. They are simplistic, and often, miss the point altogether.

What they do though, is broaden the narrative about Pakistan for those in the West who don't have an interest in its complexities. Let's put it this way: say you're a casual reader who comes across an op-ed about Lithuania written by an economist. He describes in detail the bond spreads, balance of payments and industrial productivity of the country. Assuming you don't have a sound grip over economics,how much of this would you take away at the end of the article?

Hence, when Hamid says that the tax net should be broadened, an economist might nitpick at the simplicity of his statement (like I do), but I don't believe it is wrong, either. If anything, I believe the average reader might pay more attention to it if it comes on the back of his vivid observation of inequality, rather than a purely economic argument I might make.

A further example of this comes during an anecdote in Ali Sethi's journey in a flood-ravaged part of the country, published last week in the New York Times. He writes:

In one place our car ran into the flood. It was swallowing the road. There was another way out — a six-hour drive west to the city of Quetta. Unfortunately, Baluch separatists had struck: they were stopping vehicles, pulling out Punjabi passengers and shooting them. Most of the men in our crew weren’t Punjabis, and they took that route. But I am a Punjabi, as are two of the reporters, and we had to find another way.

This identifies a problem of critical importance, ethnic disconnect, contextualized in a manner that embeds it into the current conversation about the floods. As a result, it also introduces the issue into the wider discourse on Pakistan, specifically amongst the uninformed, but also amongst those who might have lost sight of it in lieu of the more pressing issue.

Perhaps such a matter could have been explained better by a historian or a political scientist. 9 out of 10 times it probably would have been entrusted to them. But in the backdrop of a human tragedy, and with Pakistan's sympathy deficit as it is, let's just say I'd rather have Mohammed Hanif on the op-ed pages than Ayesha Siddiqa.

Another Dark Day for Pakistan Cricket

2010-08-30T04:50:00.001-04:00

The last time I wrote about Pakistan cricket we had just beaten the Aussies in a test match after 15 years. What a different story this time around. For those of you not up to speed on the matter, members of the Pakistan team have been accused of spot-betting, that is, they acted in certain ways that were told to them before the test match in return for money. Mohammad Aamer and Mohammad Asif, the two star bowlers of the cricket team bowled no balls at specific times, these times were disclosed by Mazhar Majeed, the agent orchestrating the whole thing to an undercover ‘News of the World’ reporter. Salman Butt and Kamran Akmal are also involved as well as three other unknown Pakistanis.

What a bloody disgrace. Salman Butt’s statement that at the moment these are simply ‘allegations’ are the furthest thing from the truth I have ever heard. It is a fact that spot-betting took place with at least the four mentioned people and most likely even more involved. What the investigation must now uncover is to what extent have the Pakistani team members been involved in match fixing. According to the bible magazine of cricket, cricinfo.com Salman Butt was asked straight up at the press conference if the Sydney Test was fixed. He declined to comment. He was asked if he was innocent, he declined to comment. He was asked if he would resign the captaincy his response was ‘why?’ Why? WHY? I’ll tell you why. Because you have disgraced a country at a time when we needed cricket the most. In the post match ceremony of the previous test that Pakistan actually won, Salman Butt dedicated the win to the flood victims and said they would try to win the next test for the flood victims as well. Is this what you mean by dedicating a victory? Taking money to ensure spot-betting took place? He claims no allegations against him have been leveled besides having his name thrown about in the media. Really Salman, you being the one bloody semi-educated chap on the team can’t figure this one out? Mazhar Majeed clearly said that Aamer will bowl the first over and Asif will bowl the tenth. Sure anyone could tell you that with 90% certainty, but Mazhar guaranteed that will happen. The only person who can guarantee that Aamer would bowl the first over and Asif the tenth is our glorious captain, Salman Butt. So there is your allegation dumb ass.

Wahab Riaz’s name is somehow escaping the media by and large. Even loyal cricket supporters may be confused by that name. Wahab Riaz who just made his debut in the last test match is also involved. Included in the ‘News of the World’ report is a video where he exchanges jackets with an agent, the one he gets in exchange for his has a nice wad of cash in the inside pocket which was clearly shown to him before the switch took place. Wow, a guy who has played two test matches is already knee deep in shit.

The most heartbreaking part of this whole fiasco is the confirmed involvement of the 18 year old Aamer. Billed as the next Wasim Akram, Aamer has exploded onto the international cricket scene in the last year and has been a joy to watch. Yet here is, knee deep in shit. According to reports in the local media, the agents link to Aamer was through Asif, who I will get to in a bit. On Express News yesterday, reports suggested that Asif, being a well known bastard of the first order, was initially contacted exclusively to indulge in spot-betting. He was then asked how well he knew Aamer, and that is where the youngster got roped in. Now, objectively viewing the situation, if an 18 year old thrust into fame coming from a poor background was offered 20 lakh rupees simply to bowl one no ball, you could understand why he would say sure, why not. It is by no means acceptable, this was only the start, maybe by next year he would be willing to throw away the World Cup final. However, out of all of those involved, he is the least accountable, which means he deserves to be pelted with stones and not bullets.

The involvement of Aamer in this brings to my next point. Team manager Yawar Saeed said that Pakistan is not institutionally corrupt. Really? Is that why a debutant and an 18 year old are involved in spot-betting? Is that why the captain and vice-captain of the team are involved, because we are NOT institutionally corrupt? Bull. Shit. The PCB is under the Government of Pakistan, which is the most corrupt body on the planet. Pakistan is the only country to have had more than one person banned for life for match fixing, Saleem Malik and some nobody called Ata-ur-Rehman. Of course there was the Qayyum report with hero no. 1 in Pakistan, Wasim Akram heavily involved. Our current coach Waqar Younis has had his name thrown in the mix, along with everyone and there brother in the Pakistan cricket team (Im serious about the brother part, Wasim Akram’s brother is an alleged bookie). So yes, the PCB is most definitely institutionally corrupt, get it out of the governments control, get rid of this moron Ijaz Butt, who as far as I can tell his only qualification is being related to the current Defense Minister.

I round off this piece by putting before you the chief culprit of it all and moving on to suggested punishments. Our captain is as much if not more to blame than in this, except for maybe the no. 2 ranked ICC Test bowler, Mohammad Asif. The swine has already been caught TWICE for doping with the same substance AND he has been held prisoner in Dubai for a couple of days for possessing opium. If you are a bookie and you want to get a foot in the door with the Pakistan team, the first person you go to is Mohammad Asif and that is exactly what happened. The professional thief was even bargaining his price for his involvement in the spot betting nonsense. It is fitting then to lead off my suggestions for what should happen that I start with none other than Mohammad Asif. People have called for repeating the horror scenes of the Sialkot lynching for the Pakistan cricket team. Now while that may be slightly over-doing it, it is a symbol of the anger people have.

So justice must be done. Asif should get the maximum punishment. On Sky News it was said that the maximum punishment by law for fraud is 10 years in jail, so that is what he should get. And he should be kept in jail there, not here, here he will just find his way out like he has with all the other shit he has done. Salman Butt should also get the maximum punishment. Kamran Akmal’s involvement is still unclear, but he sure as hell is guilty and a very senior player, so 5 years should do it. Aamer is young and a first time offender but he needs to serve time, 2 years I think, after which he should be allowed to return to the game of cricket if so chooses. Wahab Riaz is a nobody, ban him for life, get him behind bars and honestly I don’t care for how long. As for the current series, call the entire Test squad home and have an investigation to who else was involved. In the mean time, send the Pakistan A team to join Afridi to play out the rest of the tour. God only knows if Pakistan cricket will ever recover from this.

A Glass Half Full

2010-08-25T09:06:00.021-04:00

I've said plenty of mean things about Pakistan's media in my time, but I can truly say that they have proved me wrong with their coverage of the recent floods, and to a lesser extent, the lynching of innocent boys in Sialkot.

Cameras and reporters were quick to arrive on the ground in affected areas. The real-time information served the dual purpose of directing attention where it was needed, while providing a warning to areas where the flood appeared to be heading. In the process the tragedy was transmitted into our homes and worldwide where it took time to register.

Analysts were spot on with their criticism, whether it be on the President's European adventures, the initial weakness of the response in comparison to the 2005 earthquake or the apathy of the international community.

The media's pressure greatly contributed in turning these wrongs into rights. The President and his government slowly moved into action (not as we would have hoped of course but better than their preliminary slumber), the Pakistani public, especially the youth, mobilized brilliantly, and the world was shamed into opening its wallets.

IVS Flood Victims Support is an initiative by Students Council and Rahnuma at the Indus Valley School or Art and Architecture. Photo Courtesy DAWN.

Surprisingly even the much maligned television anchors, forever accused of sensationalism, put their influence to constructive use. Kashif Abbasi (ARY) and Talat Hussain (Aaj News) started their own fundraising campaign, urging those people who complained of a lack of trust in the government, to donate to them instead. The initiative and transparency shown by the two is a model for the entrepreneurial spirit shown by many others in the country.

Similarly with the Sialkot lyching, the media was quick to report the incident and quick to urge the concerned authorities (the provincial government, the local security apparatus and the judiciary) to bring the accused into the dock. Many heads have rolled since and hopefully many more will.

These are tough times for Pakistan. We are in the midst of the worst natural disaster of this century. Such tragedies do take their toll on national morale, and inevitably lead to an air of resignation. But this resignation should not be a cry for self-defeatism. That is where I have a problem, particularly with the newspaper of choice these days it seems, the Express Tribune. In the aftermath of Sialkot, the Tribune has published a series of op-eds which portray the incident as a reflection of society itself, and a sign of inconvertible moral decay.

I don't have a beef with the articles themselves, but I do feel that in a newspaper with an international reputation, they seem awfully out of place. Sure you can put them in a blog where it is OK to be controversial or rude or whatever, but you can't label a nation as 'human cockroaches' or even worse (and I'm quoting directly here) call it a 'barbaric, degenerate nation reveling in bloodlust', however sarcastic you are, in a widely circulated publication. Then again maybe it's my fault, after all I shouldn't expect much of a newspaper whose opinion pages resemble a chaotic blog and whose wisest writer is a standup comedian.

My point is the incident was gruesome and condemnable for sure but I am not prepared to believe that it is a microcosm of the conscience of a 170 million people. The fact that the killings were brought to light, condemned by all and sundry, and are leading to protests for an improved system of justice and law (here's a report and a video of a rally held in Islamabad today), is a sign that Pakistanis are not barbaric as Fasi Zaka will have us believe. Saying that the mob that killed those boys is representative of all of us is like the international notion of saying that most Pakistanis are with the Taliban. Simplistic and patently untrue.

As a friend on Facebook put it, the violence is as bad as normal people walking into a school and killing dozens of kids, or priests molesting children, both of which happened in some of the most developed countries in the world. In the aftermath of those incidents the requisite outrage was coupled with a desire to understand the problem and put it into perspective. But there weren't any op-eds in the New York Times saying that the Columbine killer represented all of America, or that the Church's sins were all of Europe's. Again, this is not a defense of what happened, no one in the right mind would do that, but let's please manage the emotion and vitriol, and spare the majority of Pakistanis who do not conform to such violence and brutality.

If anything, the 'we are the mob in Sialkot' theory can be put to bed by something else happening right now. It might just be me but I believe we are witnessing one of the extraordinary events of recent times: the remarkable mobilization of Pakistanis, taking the challenge of dealing with the biggest natural calamity in years into their own hands. From donating to fundraising to volunteering, thousands of ordinary citizens, young and old, poor and rich, are showing outstanding character and spirit.

Amidst the ruins, this is a story that also needs to be told.

What It Will Take to Save Pakistan's Flood Relief Effort

2010-08-11T12:17:00.013-04:00

The response to the devastating floods across the country has been noticeably muted, both at home and internationally. There are multiple reasons behind this: Pakistan’s vilified image, a lack of contingency planning on the government’s part, inadequate infrastructure, lack of information regarding channels for donation, citizens’ lack of confidence in state-sponsored relief efforts, amongst others.

As this incredibly detailed database from the Guardian shows, international aid – while insufficient at present – is flowing in directly to local NGOs, international organizations operating in Pakistan and regional government agencies/bodies. The main agents in disbursing aid and engaging in relief efforts are (i) NGOs, (ii) locally-based INGOs, (iii) religious charity groups, (iv) government agencies (federal, provincial and regional), and (v) the Army.

Now it is increasingly evident that the relief efforts, if not altered or organized, will prove to be insufficient, discursive and inefficient. And the primary reason is organizational, not political. To illustrate this, I’ve attached a chart showing the organization of relief efforts at present.

At the moment, the disbursing agents receive donations but act as a single, disconnected entity, with the exception of the Army (which is because its capability is vastly superior to the rest).

This presents two (2) overarching problems:
(a) Individual NGOs pursue their own agendas using the funds they have been provided, which is commendable and may provide those affected with considerable comfort in the short-term. But this arrangement is likely to make long-term infrastructure development difficult and increase the likelihood of misdirection of already scarce resources. Any development projects carried out at the moment – or indeed, immediately after the water has been cleared, ad hoc and unsustainable, for the most part. Projects that will be considered successful would be limited in scope. For example, an effort by a local NGO to build new houses in one city would be successful but would hardly prove sufficient in providing widespread relief, which might have been achieved in collaboration with other organizations working in the same locality. More on that a little later.

(b) There’s little accountability for stand-alone NGOs working at a micro-level for flood relief.

What I’m trying to say, in a nutshell, is: without a collective agenda, the efforts of all these organizations and the support of the international community will not be enough. Second, what scarce resources are available will not be used efficiently. Finally, the onus, once immediate relief has been provided, will be on the civilian government and the Army, backed by an economy that has only just begun to show signs of recovery. So the future really doesn’t look too bright for the rehabilitative efforts or for the country, for that matter, since expenses will only mount.

The Solution:

In the absence of a credible state sponsor or emergency relief organization, NGOs have to fast shed their individual agendas to act in unison if flood relief is to be provided efficiently. Here’s a chart for the ideal situation:

The NGOs, under an overarching common platform, are allowed – based on internal capacity – to form task forces or associations with other NGOs in the area. This allows for a more concerted effort in redevelopment in selected regions. The rest of the disbursing actors – apart from religious charities, which are unlikely to engage in infrastructure development – will act, in such a structure, in collaboration with this platform.

There are plenty of advantages in adopting this structure:

1. Resources, when pooled and directed towards a collective agenda, are likely to generate institutionalized and better results. Various projects, performed under one umbrella will also be linked and developed in relation to one another. Low-income housing provision by one NGO, for example, when linked to a project on healthcare will better serve the social and infrastructure needs of residents.

2. NGO collectives will allow credible channels through which Pakistanis can donate, knowing where their money is going and for which cause.

3. Accountability. International donors are more capable of following the progress of larger projects, carried out by a collective. They act as oversight bodies for the recipient NGO and for the larger platform. The umbrella platform will also act as a secondary oversight body for task forces/associations as they pursue redevelopment/relief activities.

4. In theory and in practice, if NGOs are run properly, the platform will give civil society a larger say in the relief efforts, supplementing government and military relief efforts, making the entire process a more nationally-owned effort.

5. Local NGOs, operating in affected areas, are more likely to create policies and carry out reform efforts suitable to local needs as compared to the military, international NGOs operating through Islamabad or, for that matter, the government.

Limitations:

For all these possibilities, it’s very unlikely that such a platform will ever be created or even considered by the NGO leadership or the government. For one, it requires effective governance at multiple levels within the NGO platform and a selflessness that is ironically hard to find in the NGO community. Second, the government – even if it shows the will to act as mediator – is unlikely to be viewed as an honest broker. Third, larger NGOs are likely to be unwilling to partner with smaller, less resourceful NGOs on the ground. Finally, creating a sustainable platform for NGOs is a massive undertaking. Within the platform, bureaucracy will probably creep in to delay projects, generate internal politics and waste resources.

But here’s the sticking point: if such a structure succeeds, the gains are enormous, for civil society as a political actor, public policy, NGOs as an intermediary between the state and its citizens and, most importantly, for the millions affected by the tragedy.

The Real Hall of Shame

2010-08-10T05:47:00.008-04:00

Like most Pakistanis I have been taken aback by the scale of destruction caused by the floods back home. According to the United Nations this is a worse calamity than the Pacific Tsunami (2004), the Kashmir earthquake (2005) and the Haiti earthquake (2010) combined. From Khyber to Karachi, every part of the country is already or under the threat of inundation.

No government, and certainly not the weak impostor we have in Islamabad, can fully manage such a disaster. That, however, should not make those in charge immune from criticism. Pertinently, this criticism needs to be well-directed, lest it may be lost in a futile cause, as explained by Cafe Pyala. Asif Zardari's shenanigans in Europe have been well documented, but he's one person, and a person with little constitutional authority. What about those with the capacity and responsibility to atleast provide a semblance of a rescue effort? Why have they not been villifed by the Zardari-obsessed media and public?

Well it's about time some recognition (and preferably bricks) be heaped on these characters for the role they have played in the last week or so. Here are three of them:

1. Yousuf Raza Gilani: I'm tired of his 'powerless Prime Minister in the face of a powerful President' act. His post-flood response has been so inept, and his comments so bizarre, that I'm almost glad he does not call the shots in Islamabad.

Consider this: The two critical agencies that manage and fund the federal government's rescue effort, the National Disaster Management Authority and the Prime Minister's Relief Fund, have been monumental failures. The aid distribution process is in shambles and the domestic and foreign funding has been poor. With the President having absolved himself of any responsibility, what stopped Gilani from coordinating these agencies, which lie directly under his control, properly? I am sure the response would have still been inadequate, but atleast like after the Kashmir earthquake in 2005, the effort might have been more organized, where people knew who to donate to and who was in charge, rather than the current scenario where half of the potential donors don't even know who to trust their money with.

On top of this ineptness, Gilani decided to inform us, from his pulpit in Multan no less, that if the Kalabagh Dam would have been built the floods wouldn't have happened. I don't debate the merit of the Dam, but did the statement really have to come on the day when thousands in Sindh, the Dam's main opposition, were fighting for their lives? There is a time and place for such remarks and this certainly wasn't the right one.

2. MQM and ANP: If in this crisis the PPP has come across as inept, the PMLN opportunistic, Karachi's political parties, namely the MQM and ANP appear downright despicable. As the country begged for a unified approach to the calamity, the two parties went ahead with their mindless feud, killing more than a 100 people in less than a week. As a result, instead of engaging in relief efforts, Karachiites found themselves locked at home for 3 days, caught between a juvenile battle for an extra inch of the city's land. Moreover, the ANP's Khyber-Pakhtunkhwa provincial president had to fly all the way to Karachi to sign the peace accord, shameful considering the severity of his province's problem. As it is, no channel in the country had the guts to tell the two parties, especially the MQM, of how immature they were, lest their own offices get ransacked.

3. The International Community, especially China: The UN thinks Pakistan needs billions in aid to rebuild. On current evidence, we would be hard-pressed to even get a fraction of that. The Guardian has a fascinating graphic (shown below) that breaks down the international community's donations. Aside from the general lukewarm response, a conspicuous absence is that of China, the one state expected to lead the international effort, considering its friendship and proximity to Pakistan. Yet, like the rest it sits on the sidelines, averse to the human tragedy unfolding. Now I agree that the world has serious trust issues with the present government, but what is preventing them from contributing to the multilateral effort headed by the UN? If anything the world should learn from Greece. Yes, Greece! A country that nearly went bankrupt this year, pitched in with a $130,000, which using per-head population breakdown was a more generous effort than China!

Finally, a very honorable mention in this Hall of Shame to the great Imran Khan who promised to hold a 'strong protest' if President Zardari commenced on his trip to Europe. Perhaps realizing that no one in Pakistan actually takes him seriously, he decided to go on his own little trip and was last seen raising funds (and blaming everyone and the Sun) for his party in Dallas, Texas.

National Interest Equals 180 million

2010-08-03T14:26:00.004-04:00

A relative of mine, Sibtayn Naqvi, recently wrote this article about our glorious president. It's quite a good read so I thought I'd post it:

With the calamity struck upon Pakistan, many of our citizens have suffered at the hands of a horrific torrential downpour, a tragic AirBlue accident and a sickening “target killing” environment prevalent in Karachi. One would believe to look for guidance, consolation and leadership in the civilian government. To quote spider-man “with great power comes great responsibility”, but for Asif Zardari, this means pursuing “national interests” abroad, while thousands of lives have been disrupted and lost across the nation.

Now all in fairness, as one politician proudly displayed on his twitter “I cannot understand y a State visit by a President to further Pakistan’s national interests shud be politicised. It’s hard work no holiday”. Do tell me, is it absolutely vital for Mr. Zardari at this time to be pursing “national interests” by sipping tea and munching on biscuits with the very Prime Minister who stated that my country should not be allowed to “promote the export of terror”?

The President has made numerous trips abroad to pursue “national interests” since taking the reins of the Presidency. Even though such trips cost (on average) Rs. 20 million, I have rarely seen a public outcry in regards to such escapades. Being the President of a powerful nation housing 180 million people, Mr. President, some empathy in regards to the timing of your foreign affairs could have been witnessed this time around.

Was it absolutely crucial to use public money (that is already bare minimum) to travel abroad in the current circumstances? Would it not have been possible to formulate a domestic trip to Swat, Peshawar or Nowshera to stand by the unfortunate flood victims? Could the Rs. 20 million not have been used to conduct a memorial service for the tragic victims who lost their lives in the Margalla Hills? Is it too much to ask for Rs. 20 million to be spent on increased security in Karachi so we don’t read headlines on target killings every morning?

Throughout Pakistan’s turbulent history we have constantly heard drawing room chatter in regards to the Establishment not allowing the civilian government to flourish. Let’s put a spotlight over the recent weeks to see why the Pakistan Army has an image of being our savior rather than the civilian government. When target killings are carried out in Karachi, the Rangers step in. When ED202 crashed in the Margalla Hills, the Army came to the rescue (while one Minister exclaimed prematurely that there were a number of survivors), when the monsoonal floods hit the Northern regions, General Kayani surveyed the damage while expediting relief efforts, when the British Prime Minister made scathing remarks towards Pakistan, our ISI chief suspended his foreign trip to the United Kingdom. You of all people should know Mr. President public perception does matter.

Why was there a lack of civilian government presence in all the incidents mentioned above? Is the launch of Bilawal Zardari as a 21-year-old PPP-Chairman more important than the diminished livelihood of thousands across the country? Correct me if I am wrong, but didn’t the young Zardari exclaim “jaan chahyai, jaan deingay hum, khoon chahyai, khoon deingay hum”? I’d like to see some of that passion come to the forefront Mr. President.

Now let’s get to the favorite topic of the day. Fake degrees. For the 2008 general elections, there was a provision requiring all candidates to have an undergraduate degree. Regardless of whether the law is satisfactory, it was penned in ink. Do tell me, who gives the right to 47 sitting members of Parliament to provide the Election Commission of Pakistan with phony documents? Ironically, the majority of these illegal Parliamentarians are not even from the Pakistan Peoples Party. Take the high ground, the moral ground, Mr. President. Allow the report presented by the autonomous Higher Education Commission to run its proper course. Break down the barriers being constructed by the Ministry of Education.

Pakistan is a very resilient nation. Over the last decade, we have experienced the effects of an on-going war being carried out in Afghanistan. We have seen a rise in domestic violence that has cost 3,433 lives in 215 suicide attacks. Pakistan lost nearly 80,000 citizens in the tragic earthquake of 2005. Our military has suffered 8785 casualties of which 2273 soldiers have died. Karachi endured 156 incidents of targeted killings in 2009. 334 were targeted and killed in the first seven months of 2010, while their have been 889 murders in Karachi alone during the same time period. 152 Pakistani’s tragically lost their lives in the Margalla Hills, while the current flood that has swept the country has already taken the lives of more than 1,200 citizens.

But we are still standing strong. We carry out an honest day of living without electricity and ridiculously high prices of domestic commodities. Despite the hardships we have faced, our faith in this country has strengthened our confidence. In less than two weeks we will be out in the streets, waving our flags, saluting our soldiers and standing with our heads high. The globe may assume we are a fractured nation, and some may state that we export terror, but our national interests lay within our own borders. Our morals will carry us forward, but being at the helm of affairs Mr. President it is your duty to lead the way. We have suffered enough to watch Establishment dictate terms, or civilian governments bankrupting the national exchequer. It is high time the 180 million are looked after for they make up the “national interests”.

Sibtayn Naqvi is a freelance journalist and he may be contacted at sibtaynnaqvi@gmail.com.

No Vigils for Pakistan

2010-08-02T02:52:00.014-04:00

It really has been a terrible week for Pakistan: terrorist attacks, floods, damning leaked documents, a plane crash, unrelenting violence in Karachi and damaging diplomacy from Cameron in India to boot.

Out of any number of talking points resulting from these events, I’ll choose three:

1. Extraordinary Misfortune
These really are strange times for Pakistanis when even the rains are against us. Eagerly awaited monsoons have overstayed their welcome, washing away villages already hit by vicious acts of terror. Malakand, amongst other northwest districts, has borne the brunt of the devastation. There is widespread displacement and impending spread of disease as the government and military begin a recovery effort hampered by an underperforming economy and overstretched institutions.

The plane crash, in its own right, has left the country in shock. For a relatively new aircraft, flown by an experienced ex-PIA pilot, to crash into Margalla was unprecedented. It’s a tragic end for the 152 passengers, which included promising members of the Youth Parliament, in Pakistan’s worst-ever plane crash – the first since the Multan Fokker accident and the most devastating since the Zia explosion.

2. Pakistan’s Deteriorating Image
There will be no candlelight vigils across college campuses for the crash victims or the 1000+ washed away – and countless displaced – in one of the worst natural disasters in the country’s history. Nor will there be a moment of silence for Pakistanis, those vile exporters of terror.

Cameron’s diplomatically incorrect comments and the Wikileaks ‘revelations’ have only served to compound the international public’s fear of the Pakistani connection. Indeed, the country is vilified to an irrational extent – NYT’s Tom Friedman proclaims that Pakistan's “double game goes back to 9/11. That terrorist attack was basically planned, executed and funded by radical Pakistanis and Saudis.” Five Rupees has a response here.

Fortunately, though, there are voices lending sanity to the discourse. David Miliband calls Cameron a “cuttlefish spurting out ink” in his piece in The Independent. Jawed Naqvi, meanwhile, has a counterpoint in Dawn, where he contrasts Cameron with Kaiser Wilhelm of Prussia. Mosharraf Zaidi, on the other hand, has a great column in The News on the Wikileaks incident.

3. Finally, a note for Mian Iftikhar Hussain – the man who’s come closest to mirroring Pakistan’s plight. An outspoken critic of the Taliban and militant groups, Mian Iftikhar lost his son in a terrible assassination and was then targeted by a suicide bomber in the subsequent funeral. Now, as the KP Information Minister, he’s had little time to recover as he seeks to mobilize support for flood victims and the devastated region.

Turns out I'm not mad, we beat the Aussies!

2010-07-26T01:26:00.005-04:00

The last article I wrote gave all my friends good reason to hurl all sorts of insults my way. What was I thinking suggesting that we could chase down a world record 440 runs to win in the fourth innings? Well for starters, records are made to be broken and secondly, this torrid run against the Aussies had to come to an end eventually. And it did, albeit a Test later than I was expecting but I’m not complaining. Pakistan played the way only Pakistan plays and yet we managed to pull it off. This victory should be savored by all of us for years to come, 15 years is a long time to wait for a win, 16 if you look back to the time where we won a Test that actually means something. This victory is for all the optimists who have managed to stick by Pakistan cricket through all the collapses and the dropped catches and missed run outs, etc. This is also a rallying cry for all the pessimists who abandoned Pakistan cricket when we lost by 8 wickets in the ’99 final or when we failed to make it past the first round in the next two World Cups or when we failed to win at Sydney. The point is Pakistan cricket has gone through a lot to get to this point, and that makes this victory all the more special.

The pessimists will not be turned over that easily though. We barely sneaked across the line, requiring only 40 runs on the last day with 7 wickets in hand on a flat pitch with no cloud cover we lost 4 wickets, and all four were top order batsmen. But you can all read the details on cricinfo, the point is our batting was woeful, and had it not been for Messrs. Asif and Aamer we would have been in a world of trouble. We finally managed to win a test match purely on the basis of our phenomenal bowling, but to expect to bowl the English out for 88 four times over the coming month is a stretch even for the wildest of optimists. The conclusion then is that this victory is only to savor and not to use as a blueprint for success.

Although this victory does not give Pakistan a blueprint for success on how to win Test matches, it gives Pakistan something a lot more important: momentum. Pakistan is a momentum side, when things start going our way the fielding gets better, the captaincy is sharper, bowlers stick to a plan and batsmen learn to apply themselves. When you combine raw talent and momentum you end up with an unstoppable juggernaut, and if Pakistan gets off to a good start in the first test against the English next week then that is exactly what we will become.

A word of caution though before we move forward. On the outskirts of the team lurk Younis Khan and Mohammad Yousuf, and though they are two of the finest Test batsmen in recent memory, their inclusion into the squad might just wreck this great momentum. Yousuf and Younis’ presence will simply be overwhelming, and their egos have to be handled with care. Salman Butt already has enough on his plate without having to worry about catering to the senior players. Other people may disagree, but Yousuf and Younis are not getting any younger, and they bring too much bad history with them. Yes our middle order lacks steel, but Azhar Ali showed great composure and Umar Amin showed great promise. The former made a crucial fifty in our chase of 180 and the latter has great technique and requires only a bit of experience. Giving these two a chance to come good for Pakistan may set us up for a better team in the long run, Yousuf and Younis will only provide us with a short term solution that will barely last us till the World Cup. Now the only person left to get rid of is that damn husband of Sania Mirza, whose first innings dismissal showed that he really has no place in a Test squad.

All of this being said, we did draw the series with the mighty Aussies. They might not be as great as they were with McGrath, Warne and company, but nonetheless they still are a formidable opponent. Next up are the Ashes victors. Last time the English won the Ashes they went to Pakistan and got HAMMERED 2-0 in a three test series, as well as losing the ODI series 3-2. One feels we are in for one heck of an English summer yet!

Spare a Thought for Balochistan

2010-07-18T21:34:00.009-04:00

It's been less than a week since the most prominent political assassination in Pakistan since Benazir Bhutto was killed in 2007. Of course you wouldn't understand if you just watch talk shows and read newspapers. That's because this particular leader was from Balochistan and his death took place in Quetta, not Karachi or in the Punjab.

Habib Jalib Baloch was Balochistan's most important non-feudal leader. Yup, not the guy who earned billions in state royalties and yet made his tribe's women walk miles for water. Nor was he the guy who picked up guns and fought the Army from the mountains. He was instead of a rare breed of politicians with an educated, middle-class pedigree. This fact is best personified by the way he died: while reading a newspaper, unarmed and unprotected, in his brother's shop.

With his death, Balochistan lost a political voice. But Pakistan lost more. While dealing with an angry secession-inclined province, the state could have benefited from engaging men like Jalib, who by virtue of their background provided a purer connection to the Baloch people, compared to the current policy of purchasing the loyalties of greedy tribal chiefs.

Unfortunately, instead of this introspection all we managed was silence. Consider the dichotomy of reaction in Balochistan and the rest of the country. Quetta was in a state of paralysis for 3 days. Meanwhile, in Islamabad the talk of town was fake degrees, mid term elections and talks with India.

Painful as it sounds, Baloch people are correct when they assert that the reform they need is not constitutional or financial, but that of attitude. That attitude is molded not just by the state, but by people as well. This is where we have failed. How many of the smartest writers in Pakistan covered Jalib's assassination in their columns or blogs this week? How many protests took place in Karachi and Lahore? Heck, does the average Pakistani even know who Habib Jalib Baloch was?

The truth is that while we are enamored by Balochistan's geographic and economic vitality, we have failed to cultivate an emotional association with it. For that we may be a stronger country, but a poorer nation.

What Can You Say About This Guy?

2010-07-17T01:07:00.008-04:00

When your team gets knocked over by a part-time bowler like Marcus North (though the Australian wicket-keeper could've thrown his gloves off and taken all those wickets too) there's only one thing you can do:

To sum it up (go to 6:42):

Reporter: When exactly did you decide to retire?

Afridi: When I got out.

I thought long and hard about putting this into words. All I could come up with was a sigh, a smile and Pakistan cricket's best friend: de ja vu.

Watch Cricket, People!

2010-07-16T01:10:00.004-04:00

Now that the hype of the World Cup is starting to blow over, cricket has once again begun to take center stage in Pakistan. Very quietly Pakistan broke their awful losing streak to the mighty Australians by winning the two T20 matches and showed no signs of the scars we all bear after Hussey’s miraculous effort to knock Pakistan out of the World Cup. That gave the team the confidence they needed heading into the test arena, where the statistics send a shudder down every Pakistani’s spine. The last time Pakistan managed to avoid defeat by drawing Australia was back in 1999, and they last outright beat Australia in 1995. Pakistan came close in their tour down under this past winter in the infamous Sydney Test, but the collapse from that position has been well documented.

So why am I hyping up this latest Test where Pakistan needs 440 runs to win in the second innings? After all, this is the same side that got bowled out for a measly 148in the first innings. The reason is simple, umeed pay dunya kaim hai (the world is running on hope). This losing streak has to come to end sometime, why not now? At the close of the third days play Pakistan were 114/1. Our best batsmen of late Salman Butt is at the crease unbeaten on 58 and getting good support from one of the debutants, Azhar Ali. 440 might seem like a daunting number, but that’s not the way to look at it. There are 6 sessions left so time is not an issue, Pakistan have 9 wickets in hand and need 326 runs to win. The conditions have much improved for batting, the green tinge on the Lord’s wicket has faded, the clouds have disappeared and the ball isn’t moving as much. The new Australian spinner Steve Smith shouldn’t cause much trouble, he has good control but the Pakistani batsmen have always been good players of spin and Danish Kaneria should have given them much practice in the nets. The meat of the batting order is yet to come: the Akmal brother and captain fantastic.

Before you dismiss my eternal optimism and go watch movies at Cinepax instead of this test match, take a moment to soak in the situation. Pakistan has a shot, albeit it a long shot, of beating Australia at the home of cricket, Lord’s. Sorry Mom, I’m going to pass on family stuff this weekend, I will be rooted to the couch!

Top 10: Mistakes Pakistani Politicians Made on Fake Degrees

2010-07-15T15:35:00.026-04:00

The curious issue of the fake degrees held by politicians in public office, in case you've missed the latest in Pakistani politics, has been dominating the political landscape recently. This Al-Jazeera report provides a good, impartial summary. The latest, from Dawn, puts the tally at 47.

Fraudulent degrees and ill-advised submissions, when exposed, make for some (extremely) entertaining stories. So after much research and deliberation, here's a Top 10 of mistakes politicians made on their fake degrees:

10.The degree-awarding institution did not bear a believable name. Fire University?!

From The News: The BBA degree of Hummayun Aziz Kurd (PPP) was issued by Air International University. [...] Yet another Mir from Balochistan — Mir Humayun Aziz — who is a member of the National Assembly, has declared to have done “Bachelor of Business Administration in Marketing” in 1999 from “Fire International University”. The HEC declared it, too, as a Non-Chartered University.

From Dawn: Mr Hussain had submitted to the election commission his BA degree in Islamic Studies issued by the Trinity College and University Spain incorporated in Dover, Delaware (USA), while filing his nomination forms for October 2002 general elections.

9. Purchasing fake degrees from the internet. Can you get any lazier?

From The News: Two ministers of state in Musharraf’s cabinet were also caught buying fake degrees from internet-based universities. The degree of ex-senator Pari Gul Agha was also questioned by the media but no one challenged it and the lady walked away after completing her term and contributing her role in passing the infamous 17th Amendment.

8. Submitted degree misspelled name of the University of Punjab, one of Pakistan’s most prominent institutions, as 'Panjab.'

Via The News: Where is the University of ‘Panjab’, as against the genuine Punjab University? A host of degrees presented by parliamentarians belong to this institution in ‘Panjab’. Masters and Bachelors’ degrees issued to a large number of sitting lawmakers come from University of the Panjab, raising doubts about their genuineness.

7. Failing to recall, when questioned, the name of courses indicated on submitted degree transcripts. When the MP did answer, he identified a subject with the acronym IPS as 'Health and Physical Education.'

From Dawn: In his verdict, the chief justice also mentioned what he called a revealing incident when Rizwan Gill, who had secured 72 per cent marks in a subject called IPS, was asked to define what it stood for. A long silence was the answer offered by Mr. Gill who himself had come to the podium to address the court. On court’s insistence and after deep thought, his reply was “Health and Physical Education”. The detailed marks certificate produced on record by Mr. Gill himself mentioned the IPS as “Islamic Studies/Ethics and Pakistan Studies”.

6. Text on foreign-issued degree indicated that University headquarters were based in Defence Housing Authority, Lahore.

Via The News: “Rubina Zafar Zehri having completed the prescribed studies and satisfied the requirement for the degree of Bachelor of Business Administration has accordingly been admitted to that degree with all the rights, privileges and immunities thereunto appertaining In witness whereof, the Trustees of Mitech Institute of Management & Information Technology have caused this degree to be signed by the duly authorized officers of the Institute and embossed with its corporate at Lahore, Pakistan.”

5. Submitting Doctorate degree earned from a sham university charged of fraudulent activity by American authorities, where one individual was found to be responsible for teaching 425 courses in 14 disciplines!

From Dawn: The university from where Law Minister Babar Awan claims to have done his PhD is banned in the United States from issuing any degree and cannot even claim that it is a legal educational institution. Long before the dispute over fake degrees became a political issue in Pakistan, the Circuit Court of the First Circuit in the State of Hawaii, declared that the University of Monticello was a non-recognised and non-chartered university.

4. The famous case of Jamshed Dasti: Upon interrogation by the court, failed to display even basic knowledge of the degree course in question.

Via The News: The PPP MNA failed to answer the questions of the court about the total number of Surahs in the Holy Qur’aan, including the names of any of the five Surahs. Justice Ramday questioned Dasti: “How you did the Dars-e-Nizami course, as you even don’t know the names of five Surahs?”

3. Academic program indicated on degree did not exist at the time of submission, was formed 7 years later.

From Dawn: According to the details submitted to the election commission by Hayat, she graduated from Islamabad's Rifah University in 2002 with a BBA degree. However, according to records, Rifah University did not offer the BBA programme in 2002.

2. Indicating the same identification number of the same University as a previous minister who, as it turns out, had already been dismissed from office on the basis of those details!

From Dawn: He said a report submitted by the religious institution denied having issued any certificate to Javed Husnain, and even Wafaqul Madaris Al-Arbia in its reply confirmed that the Madressah of Bannu was not affiliated with it. The counsel said a fact to prove the certificate bogus was that it had the same roll number which was allegedly issued in the name of Ms Naghma Mushtaq who had won the election from PP-206 and later was held disqualified on the basis of a Madressah certificate.

1. Master’s degree, earned in ’92, predated Bachelor’s degree, issued in ‘06. Must be some genius!

From The News: MPA Tariq Mehmood Bajwa [...] is learnt to have obtained a graduation degree from the Bahauddin Zakariya University in the year 2006 while his masters degree is from Tanzeem-ul-Madaris-ul-Islami in the year 1992.

Fact is, there are any number of reasons — philosophical, political, social and perhaps even economic — to oppose the mandatory degree law. But the law is a minor inconvenience after all, meant to be subverted through online degrees and fake results. Now, predictably, there's bedlam: Pakistani psychiatrists are saying politicians with fake degrees are dangers to society, the presidency is trying to delay degree verification and one lawmaker even suggests a punishment of 80 lashes for anyone found to have submitted fake qualifications.

Don't know what the problem is, to be honest. "A degree," as Balochistan Chief Minister Aslam Raisani said, "is a degree, whether fake or real."

(Ridiculous) Links of the Day

2010-07-13T19:18:00.012-04:00

If you're like me and spent the last 30 days of your life eating, drinking and breathing the World Cup, you might be wondering what the rest of the world is upto. Specifically our part of the world. Without further ado, making sense of the ridiculous:

1. Unlike what many might think, not all Pakistanis are morons. Here's a great story from one of my favorite parts of the country.
2. That being said we do have our fair share of morons. Bigots in fact.
3. The previous story might make you think we're an uber-religious nation. We're not. Here's our worst-kept secret coming out. By Fox News no less. Bye bye, hotel-worker inspired good publicity!
4. Speaking of that worst-kept secret, here's a hilarious blog post on what women in Pakistan, and much of South Asia infact, do to 'protect' themselves. So true!
5. Since a post on Pakistan being ridiculous cannot be complete with a mention of how India is just as ridiculous, here's their media twisting a telephonic conversation on Kashmir. By design or by mistake, this is something even Hamid Mir will have a tough time matching. How do they get away with this?!
6. Speaking of neighbors, here's an upcoming Indian movie, starring Ali Zafar, which is facing problems due to its title. Ali Zafar may be a horrible singer, but kudos to him for having the guts to do this. I don't know why people would be so worked up about this, I mean last year Geo did a spoof on the militants and it was pretty funny and uncontroversial.
7. Talking of the bad guys, here's what the Taliban have concluded after fighting NATO. They're so dumb, we could fight them with monkeys. Yup, you heard that right. I laughed 10 straight minutes after reading this.
8. Finally, since this is a post about ridiculous stuff, I might as well end with a ridiculous statement. Here's the Law Minister, no less, telling us who our next Prime Minister will be. Thanks Sir, if I ever needed proof of your fake degree, I just got one.

The Blue Rickshaw World Cup Final Preview

2010-07-08T09:19:00.039-04:00

So here we are, a month on from the kickoff and wondering what we did with our lives before the 11th of June.

It all comes down to this: an unlikely final between Holland and Spain. But in a World Cup of firsts, it’s only fitting that the two contenders are battling for their first crown. Remarkably, this will be the first World Cup final without Brazil, Italy, Germany or Argentina. And the first since 1978 in which neither team holds a previous crown.
_________________________________________________
Before I begin, an interruption here for irresistible Germany:

Germany, without a shadow of doubt, were the highlights of this tournament. And there was one overarching reason for why I adopted them as a favorite once the tournament began: it just wasn’t the mechanical Germany of old. Ozil, Muller, Neuer and Khedira have given them a wholly different outlook.

By incorporating successful Under-23s into the senior squad, Germany showed the world exactly how a good team must be run. Ageing England would do well to learn a thing or two from this squad. So, too, would the frequently infuriating Pakistan cricket team, which desperately hangs on to the likes of Shoaib Akhtar and Shoaib Malik when it would be better served giving our consistent U-19s a chance at the biggest stage. There was a welcome cosmopolitan feel about the Germans, too: naturalized Turks and Tunisians at the heart of the Deutsch midfield are a rare sight.

Then there were those experienced men — Podolski, Klose, Lahm, Mertesacker and Schweinsteiger — who never seem to disappoint at international level. And in the 4-1 drubbing of England, they duly dispatched the myth of English footballing superiority. Then with 4 more, they sent mad Maradona and Lio Messi packing.
_________________________________________________

Now, about those two finalists.

The Road to the Final: Both Holland and Spain have followed reasonably similar paths, in terms of opposition, to Soccer City. Holland eased past Denmark, Japan and Cameroon in the group stage, before overcoming Slovakia, Uruguay and, of course, Brazil. Spain recovered from a shock defeat to Switzerland before beating Chile, Honduras, Portugal, Paraguay and finally Germany.

International Achievements: Spain have only once before been past the quarter-finals at a World Cup. European championships in 1964 and 2008, and an Olympic gold in ’92 are their only crowns. Holland, meanwhile, finished runners-up in consecutive world cups in 1974 and 1978. Their only trophy was Euro 1988, immortalized by this stunning van Basten strike.

Holland’s Key Man: Pacy Arjen Robben, on the left flank, should cause Capdevila some discomfort. Expect Xabi Alonso to drop back and cover.

Spain’s Key Man: David Villa cut a lonely figure against Germany, despondent in his isolation against a 5-man midfield. But if he can find his way past the Holland defense, he could find himself on the front pages.

Tactics — Spain: Del Bosque faces a tactical dilemma. With both Torres and Villa up front, Spain can trouble a Holland defense that was exposed at times by Robinho and co. But if Sneijder and Robben have to be stopped from constructing incisive attacks, Spain may opt to sit 5 in midfield with Villa as a lone striker.
Likely 11: Casillas, Ramos, Pique, Puyol, Capdevila, Alonso, Xavi, Iniesta, Busquets, Torres, Villa.

Tactics — Holland: The Dutch can sit back, absorb the pressure of overwhelming Spanish possession, and look to attack at rare opportunities. Or, if they’re smart, they’ll play smash-and-grab. With De Jong and van Bommel, Holland can disrupt Spanish passing in the center, frustrating the Spaniards and counter-attacking through Sneijder, Kuyt and Bronckhorst.
Likely 11: Stekelenburg, Heitinga, Mathijsen, van der Wiel, van Bronckhorst, van Bommel, de Jong, Kuyt, Sneijder, Robben, van Persie.

Why Spain Should Win: Quality of football. In Xavi and Iniesta, Spain arguably have the best distributers of the ball in the world.
It’s all about passing, the beautiful game and David Villa. And, for a nation whose league boasts clubs like Madrid and Barcelona, the fact that their previous best at world level is 4th (and that, too, in 1950) is embarrassing.

Why Holland Should Win: Holland are like Turkey and Croatia — no one really hates them. It might not even be an exaggeration to label them the most lovable team in the world. A world crown for the Oranje is long overdue: the Gullitts, Cruyffs, Neeskens, van Nistelrooys, Bergkamps, Rijkaards and van Bastens couldn’t do it. It’s time for the class of 2010 to deliver. Plus, a third world cup final loss would just be heartbreaking.

And then, of course, there was this strike of some class from the captain:

One Man Who Shouldn’t Be Let Near the Final: Pedro. Selfish, selfish play in the semi-final cast doubts on his nationality. Which other Spaniard wouldn’t pass to a goal-starved Torres in this 2 v. 1 counter against the goalkeeper?

Predictions: Shazil is going for a 2-0 win for the Dutch, with goals coming from two unlikely sources: de Jong and van Persie, who hasn't really got going this time round. Umair, meanwhile, is tipping Xavi to score the only goal in a 1-0 win for Spain.

For me, the heart says Holland, the gut says Spain. I’ll go with Der Hollander 2-1 a.e.t., with Sneijder edging ahead of Villa in the battle for the Golden Boot. HUP!

Link of the day: To get into the mood for some World Cup football, turn up the volume and click here.

Joel Stein vs Kal Penn

2010-07-04T05:27:00.006-04:00

Joel Stein is usually on the money with his satire. Not this time say many Indian-Americans, whom he targets in a satirical piece on immigration "My Own Private India", published in Time magazine this week.

Stein's article talks of how Indian immigrants have changed the cultural face of his hometown, Edison, NJ.

My town is totally unfamiliar to me. The Pizza Hut where my busboy friends stole pies for our drunken parties is now an Indian sweets shop with a completely inappropriate roof. The A&P I shoplifted from is now an Indian grocery. The multiplex where we snuck into R-rated movies now shows only Bollywood films and serves samosas.

Pretty funny so far, right? Well it is, until Stein says this:

For a while, we assumed all Indians were geniuses. Then, in the 1980s, the doctors and engineers brought over their merchant cousins, and we were no longer so sure about the genius thing. In the 1990s, the not-as-brilliant merchants brought their even-less-bright cousins, and we started to understand why India is so damn poor.

and then this:

Whenever I go back, I feel what people in Arizona talk about: a sense of loss and anomie and disbelief that anyone can eat food that spicy.

Not surprisingly, the Indian-American community is outraged. A group called the South Asian Americans Leading Together (SAALT) has even circulated a petition, appealing against the article to Time's editors.

In his defense, Stein points to what he was actually trying to say:

I was trying to explain how, as someone who believes that immigration has enriched American life and my hometown in particular, I was shocked that I could feel a tiny bit uncomfortable with my changing town when I went to visit it. If we could understand that reaction, we’d be better equipped to debate people on the other side of the immigration issue.

There is a reason, however, why humor is best answered by humor. Kal Penn, writing in the Huffington Post, responds to Stein in a befitting manner:

Gags about impossibly spicy food? I'd never heard those before! Multiple Gods with multiple arms? Multiple laughs! Recounting racial slurs like "dot-head"? Oh, Mr. Stein, is too good! I don't know how he comes up with such unique bits.

Where Penn is at his sharpest, though, is in his parting shot:

Critics might call Mr. Stein's humor super-tired or as played out as the jokes about that cheap Jewish car that stopped on a dime to pick it up, or that African American kid who got marked absent at night school. Although unlike Stein's Indian American piece, in 2010 those other jokes don't show up in mainstream media like Time Magazine. I wonder why that is..

Between the humor and banter, the episode raises some important questions. Was Stein's opinion reflective of the 'white man's dilemma' on immigration? Was it just clumsy writing? Perhaps even more broadly, would Time have published a similar piece with other immigrant groups like Asian-Americans or Hispanics?

Tragedy in Lahore

2010-07-02T19:03:00.012-04:00

Between the shock, outrage, condemnations, blame game and conspiracy theories, one sad fact will be lost:

For the first time in 927 years, the Daata Darbar's langar, a free kitchen which feeds thousands of poor people everyday, will be closed.

A painful symbol of our social, historical and economic decline.

Flying Tips

2010-06-30T00:08:00.000-04:00

Being a frequent flyer I thought it would be useful to share tips that I have picked up on. Lots of people who are or look like they are from the Middle East or South Asia are often stopped at airports across North America and Europe for extra security checks. These checks have become standard after 9/11 but more recently security measures are tightening up even further with the introduction of full body scanners at airports. There was a lot of noise in the parliament about how this is a violation of human rights and that Pakistanis do not deserve to be the victims of such discriminatory measures. However Faisal Shahzad came along and like so many idiots before him, gave the West even more reason to haul me into the back room when I fly back in to the US.

For the time being, Egyptians, Indians, and anyone who looks like their uncle’s second cousin’s son-in-law is brown is going to be stopped will continue to be stopped and harassed in airports in the West. I being a six foot four twenty something Pakistani stick out like a sore thumb at airports and have often been asked ‘Sir could you come with us please, we would like to ask you a few questions.’ Now there are two things I and any other person in this situation could do. Either I could stand there and protest my innocence, pointing out I am a college student simply seeking an education and refuse to fall victim to such blatantly racists practices. Or, I could make everyone’s life easier by co-operating with the immigration officer. So far, I have always chosen the latter during the numerous times I have had to go through extra security checks, and because of it always have a very comfortable time travelling the world. If you would like to enjoy yourself like I do while up in the air, here are a few suggestions:

1.Never get frustrated. As irritating as it may be to be singled out for special treatment, the person cross-examining you has to deal with hundreds of annoyed innocent people like you every day. It is therefore in your best interest to not piss off a probably at this point agitated immigration officer.

2.Arrive early. Between the time you check in and the time you board a million things can happen. You might have over packed your suitcases and have to transfer weight between luggage. You might get to the wrong terminal by accident. Whatever the issue might be, the extra hour or so spent in the airport to be on the safe side is well worth the peace of mind.

3.Avoid JFK/Newark while flying internationally. Everybody from the TSA personnel to the immigration officers is absolutely obnoxious. Instead, I have been flying in and out of Chicago the last couple of years and quite surprisingly have never been sent for extra checking at O’Hare, lovely people up here in the Midwest!

4.Bring your entertainment. Relying entirely on the inflight entertainment system can be risky as the system could crash or the headphone jack in your seat might not work (both things that have happened to me). Being stuck without a plan B for 18 hours will make it a very long flight indeed.

5.Don’t set the metal detectors of. Now this is not a problem in Detroit airport where it happens so often it’s almost expected. I once saw a man walking through the metal detectors in only his boxers and still managing to set the metal detector off. However, in all other airports setting of the metal detectors is annoying, and it draws attention to you, something you want to avoid anyway. Just remember to take off your belt, bling, etc and you are all clear.

6.If you cannot sleep well on airplanes, don’t try and sleep deprive yourself to be extra tired on the aircraft to make it easier to sleep, it doesn’t work. Also the meals are not particularly filling up in the air, so a hearty meal before boarding is also a good idea.

7.Lastly, if your flight is on August 7th don’t show up to the airport on the August 8th. Not exactly my best moment… Flying internationally is fun and exciting, you just need to avoid getting worked up during security checks.

The Blurred Border

2010-06-21T15:10:00.000-04:00

During the post graduation flurry of goodbyes from a lot of close friends, one particular encounter really resonated with me. One of my good friends’ who is originally from India told me ‘Shazil I have spent 4 years here and one thing I learned is that there is no difference between Indians and Pakistanis’. When I got home later that night and started to reflect on the validity of that statement it quickly became apparent that indeed Pakistanis and Indians have more things in common than not. After all, Muslims, Hindus, Sikhs and Buddhists among many faiths lived together for centuries in the sub-continent, and the result is the intermixing of many cultures. In Pakistani weddings a lot of Indians influences can be observed that did originate from religion but rather from just Muslims living alongside Hindus for so long.

That brings me to my next point. The similarities between Pakistanis and Indians make for an interesting case study on the effect of religion on personalities. Islam and Hinduism are two different religions in many respects, in one religion a cow is worshiped while in the other it is sacrificed on Eid every year in celebration. In contrast, Islam and Judaism have a lot more in common than Islam and Hinduism, yet it is the Muslim and Hindu that will get along better than the Muslim and Jew. This is not to say that Jews are at fault for this, but between Muslims and Hindus in the subcontinent what prevails in the similarity in language, culture, food and opinions.

After spends three years in the United States a lot of my best friends are Indian, and when we all get together it seems like all of us are on the same frequency, it doesn’t matter whether you are from Bombay or Lahore. The only thing really that drives a wedge in between us are Pakistan India cricket matches, and even then we all watch them side by side and manage to stay friends after the match! My overwhelmingly positive interactions with my friends from across the border have caused me to reanalyze Gandhi’s stance on India. It is well publicized that he was against the creation of Pakistan as he believed Muslims could peacefully coexist with all other factions of society in India. Perhaps there was more to his thinking than we were taught in Pak Studies in O’Levels. Currently there are more Muslims in India than there are in Pakistan, but of course I have no clue about their plight and how they are treated in India, and what the situation would have been with no Pakistan every being created. There are political problems that would have accompanied not having a separate country for Muslims, how would the representation in the parliament be decided, could Muslims trust or be trusted at a time of heightened tensions in 1947. Casting all that aside, Gandhi was right about something, Muslims, Hindus and all the rest can live together in peace and harmony. Whether the political environment would have allowed that harmony in 1947 is another question.

Politics continues to drive a wedge in between two nations with so much to offer to each other. Saturday’s Asia Cup cricket match was a very rare encounter in between cricket’s two most captivating sides to watch. Mistrust on the issues of the Bombay bombings on 26/11 continues to pull back diplomatic ties in between Pakistan and India, though there have been signs of improvement as of late. Most people in Pakistan don’t get the opportunity to interact with Indians like we at college have been blessed with. Cricket series give this opportunity to the increasingly skeptic public of both nations to meet and find out just exactly how much they are alike. To alleviate the growing tensions in the sub-continent, both governments need to endeavor to facilitate more interactions through sports, universities, intellectual competitions, etc. This may be an oversimplification of a long standing problem, but maybe all Pakistanis and Indians need to do to trust each is just sit down for a cup of chai and a round of rung.

"Americans Commit Suicide, Too..."

2010-06-20T12:55:00.020-04:00

In local metropolitan news in Pakistan, there's been a noticeable rise in instances of suicides amongst poorer families. Most of these instances are correlated with rising poverty and growing financial problems for low-income earners. There was this one, for instance, as reported by The News:

”A rickshaw driver along with three daughters and a wife took toxic pills due to financial problems, Geo News reported on Wednesday.

Rickshaw driver Akbar Ali’s brother told media that Akbar, resident of Shahpur Kanjran area was depressed due to poverty and last night along with wife and three daughters took toxic pills.“

Dawn, in today's newspaper, reported possible explanations for the collective suicide:

"During a visit to the area last week by this writer, Akbar’s relatives and neighbours reluctantly conceded that he was finding it hard to pay the lease for the three-wheeler that he had got from a local bank on a 20 per cent interest.

That loan may have been weighing heavy on his mind when he and his wife apparently took poison and one or both of them pushed it down the throat of three of their six children last week. The father and the three children passed away while the mother is still being treated at Jinnah Hospital."

And the heart-wrenching conditions in Akbar's community:

"With tears welling in his eyes, a rickshaw driver living in Shahpur tells this writer that he has limited resources and finds it impossible to manage his household budget. Another rickshaw driver standing close-by exclaims that his children are his only asset, but he is finding it hard to educate them in the current circumstances."

Sadly, none of this even remotely surprising. Changes in fiscal policy and much-publicized government schemes have, at best, merely served as discursive balms for inadequate access to small loans and rising inflation levels. Most low-income earners in Lahore markets report no savings, rely almost wholly on the under-par public education system for children, and seek small loans from relatives or friends. Efforts to widen access of microfinance facilities and poverty reduction schemes have had limited success.

But to make things worse, here's what the government's information minister said on the subject:

"Information Minister Qamar Zaman Kaira on Friday has advised poor families, which cannot take care of their children, to hand them over to Baitul Maal instead of killing them."

Audaciously, he went on to say this:

"Kaira admitted that the federal and provincial governments cannot control poverty and unemployment.

He said it was not right to criticize the government over suicides due to financial difficulties and inflation because people living in financially stable countries, like the U.S., also commit suicide."

Just doesn't get it, does he?

The 'Gaza Fad' & Pakistan's Irrelevance

2010-06-17T19:32:00.006-04:00

For a long time now, I’ve been meaning to write something on the flotilla crisis. But much has already been said and almost every aspect of the diplomatic impasse has been analyzed. Turkey’s role and the direction Turkish foreign policy may take as a partial result was, for example, explored by Umair here. So I’ll shift the focus to Pakistan and it's relationship with Israel in general:

Little has been said on the subject though there seems to be a sharp disconnect between two views amongst Pakistanis:

1. Given Pakistan’s immediate and long-term problems, the MidEast crisis should be irrelevant to our discourse and low on our list of priorities.
2. The Palestinians deserve backing by Muslim states because (a) they are Muslims oppressed by a non-Muslim state, and/or (b) because the crisis has led to systematic crimes and injustice without due regard for human life.

In my opinion, (b) may be plausible but the idea that a Muslim life is worth more than the life of a non-Muslim is rather flimsy and uncomfortable. In any case, the situation in Darfur, by comparison, also involves Muslims and is arguable worse than the Gaza dilemma in terms of the extremity of conflict. Yet it plays second fiddle to our concern with the Palestinian conflict.

Taking this approach, the first view seems quite attractive. Pakistan’s immediate concerns are numerous: armed conflict along the Western border, another military operation imminent, massive displacement, rising poverty levels and continued political instability and insurgencies.

Yet, through all of this, Gaza remains the preferred international crisis for many Pakistanis. It could be that the fad is an expression of concern and/or injured Muslim identity and/or a convenient moral stance.

Now I’m not suggesting that the Palestinian plight is unwarranted; indeed, Israel’s stance has, I believe, been unnecessarily forceful, at times unethical and even unlawful by rules that govern war. So while the Middle East crisis should not be totally absent from our conscience, the fact is that there is strife across the globe, most of which Pakistanis tend to ignore by comparison. There is, of course, conflict and/or strife in Myanmar, Yemen, Georgia and, most recently, Kyrgyzstan. There are, on top of that, crises across Sub-Saharan Africa and Haiti, besides Afghanistan and Iraq.

Criticism of Pakistan’s response is harsh. The Pakistani state’s response to these crises, in turn, has been adequate thus far. Pakistan remains, for example, one of the top contributors to NATO forces and has a strong presence in Africa, particularly in Sudan and Somalia. On the other hand, of course, it remains silent-lipped on the issue of Omar Al-Bashir’s indictment as ruled by the International Criminal Court.

The Stance:
But the Palestinian issue is different, too, from a political standpoint. Pakistan refuses to formally recognize the state of Israel. Despite this, Pakistani and Israeli intelligence have allegedly collaborated in the past, particularly during the covert Cold War-era operation against the Soviet Union in Afghanistan.

The Results:
Instead, here’s what Pakistan’s lack of formal relationship with Israel achieves:
(a) adds fuel to Israel’s strong claim that it is being cornered by Muslims states,
(b) increases the propensity of strong relations between two unfriendly states in India and Israel,
(c) consequently encourages wild conspiracy theories involving Zionist and Hindu designs on Pakistan,
(d) lowers public opinion on Pakistan abroad even further, particularly in Western states sympathetic to Israel’s policies.

The Options:
At present, Pakistan could:
(a) introduce or support U.N. resolutions calling attention to the Palestinian crisis,
(b) encourage Pakistani policy experts to contribute to independent fact-finding missions, replicating Hina Jilani's role in the Goldstone Report,
(c) theoretically pressurize its MidEast allies to alter their stance to Israel or communicate its concern for Palestine through diplomatic channels,
(d) recognize the state of Israel formally at a time when the political atmosphere with respect to Israel is calmer (Musharraf termed it “political suicide,” and while he may be overestimating the public’s response, it’s improbable that the move would go down well with Pakistan’s allies and most political parties).
(e) Alternatively, encourage a détente by establishing informal communication with Israel, as they did in 2005. In doing so, Pakistan could strengthen its role as a liaison for the Israelis in the absence of the Turks while attaining for itself more leverage as an international arbiter and, for those who subscribe to the idea of a Muslim collective, a strong spokesman for the Muslim world.

In the ideal situation, Pakistan’s continued refusal to recognize Israel formally should serve as a strong indication of its disapproval of Israel’s stance on Palestine. As it stands, it’s not much of a statement. It’s a hopeless stance: for almost all practical purposes, Pakistan — or, for that matter, Pakistani opinion — remains largely irrelevant.

A Musharraf Comeback?

2010-06-14T19:50:00.025-04:00

To contextualize Pervez Musharraf’s recently announced ambition to return to politics, I recalled a conversation I once had with a laborer. This was back in 2006, the peak of Musharraf’s reign, if you will. I asked the man what he thought of the President, especially in contrast with his rivals, Benazir Bhutto and Nawaz Sharif. He replied ‘As a Sindhi I love Benazir because she is a Sindhi. My Punjabi friends love Nawaz Sharif, because he is Punjabi. Musharraf is neither. He isn’t even Pathan or Baloch. Why would anybody love him?’

It is telling that more than 60 years since its inception, Pakistan’s polity is so ethnically defined. More crucially, the conversation presents the inherent flaw in Musharraf and other military rulers: their inability in developing a constituency outside the feudal-industrial-political elite.

This lack of grassroots support explains why the political stability, institutional development and socioeconomic progress of his early years were so easily forgotten in the rash hubris of his decline. Musharraf’s legacy in present day Pakistan is of a repressive dictator who assassinated his political opponents, abrogated the Consitution and sold the country to the US.

That despite this reputation, he wishes to return to the country’s political arena represents either audacity or idiocy, depending on how one looks at it. The media obviously believes the latter, neatly exhibited by Salman Masood’s article in the Express Tribune, asking the General not to return:

"There is hardly any political space for Musharraf. Any form of a comeback in such a treacherous and inhospitable landscape would be no less than a miracle…And time is not on the general’s side either. He already seems like a relic of the past."

Masood and the rest of Pakistan’s media have a point about Musharraf’s alleged sins. Most of them are indefensible. In most civilized societies such sins would merit punishment of the highest order. But Pakistan is not one of those societies, for two reasons.

One, the transient nature of public opinion. This is a country that celebrated Nawaz Sharif’s exile by dancing and distributing sweets, and then welcomed him back 8 years later with, you guessed it, dancing and by distributing sweets.

Second, unaccountability and lawlessness, especially for the elite. This results in a history of unconceivable political developments. For evidence look no further than the occupant of the country's highest office. I speak for a 160 million people, when I say that Zardari's Presidency was unfathomable even in our wildest dreams.

This is not to discount the gargantuan challenge Musharraf will face. It will still require the most outlandish of political efforts. A revengeful judiciary, a besieged political class and an increasingly dangerous terrorist network will gun for his head. There will be lawsuits, security threats and a barrage of criticism from the television networks.

Such a fractious environment will test the strongest of mettles. Impossible though, this task is not. Broadly speaking, it comes down to four factors swinging in his favor. In them lie his hopes of averting trial for treason, convincing a skeptical public of his sincerity and wading the treacherous political waters.

The Army. The keys to Musharraf’s past, present and future lie at the GHQ. His aforementioned lack of public support makes this even more pertinent. Under General Kayani, the Army has strayed clear of the political arena. But that is Kayani’s policy and he will retire sooner rather than later. History suggests that the Army’s political policies shift with its chiefs, which is what Musharraf will be counting on. He may even have an interest in the current race to be COAS. Lt. Gen. Nadeem Taj, third in line, was his former spy chief and close confidante.
Saudi Arabia. Since Zulfiqar Ali Bhutto, Pakistan hasn’t had a single leader who did not rely on either the US and/or Saudi Arabia for power. The legacy of his proximity with George Bush will make any association with the US poisonous. That is where the Saudis come in. Musharraf is said to have already courted their support, cultivating a close relationship with the royal family. This was exhibited by a very public show of supportduring a time when there were calls for his trial in Pakistan last year. A foreign backer of the Saudis caliber will strengthen his credentials both inside and outside the country.
The PMLQ. It may be maligned and unpopular, but it is still the second largest party in the Punjab, and the only plausible alternative to the Sharifs. National politics in Pakistan starts and ends in the Punjab. For any semblance of political relevance, Musharraf will need a strong presence in the province. He will be encouraged by a flurry of meetings with many of the party’s legislators, but the kingmakers remain the Chaudhries of Gujrat. Despite their problems, they remain a potent political force, and can provide Musharraf with the resources and acumen to succeed.
The media. It is ironic that the media loathes the man who was responsible for its independence. By his own admission, Musharraf discounted their influence during the lawyers’ movement and his demise. It is hence imperative to win them over. Here, there is a precedent. In 1998, the Nawaz Sharif government launched a censorship and financial attack on the Jang Group, owners of Geo TV, to curb their persistent criticism of his corruption and mis-governance. However, a decade later, they not only embraced his political agenda, but contributed to his elevation to the zenith of the country’s politics. Sharif’s spin masters and undoubtedly his billions had much to do with this. Musharraf would do well to take note.

Even if he recruits all the above, Musharraf would face a formidable opponent. He will also be standing against history, which has proven that no military ruler has ever returned to power in any manner, let alone as a shalwar-kurta dressed politician. But it is in this same history, specifically its idiosyncrasies, lies his best hope. The verdict on the Musharraf comeback? Improbable yes, impossible no.

Karzai and Pakistan

2010-06-11T04:58:00.011-04:00

Few leaders face the sort of ire in Islamabad as Hamid Karzai does. The Afghan President routinely blames Pakistan for his country’s violence. The Pakistanis see this as a case of self-acquittal and label him America’s, and more damagingly, India’s stooge. Matters reached a new low in 2008 when Karzai accused Pakistan of orchestrating an assassination attempt against him.

Which makes the recent air of conciliation between the two sides all the more puzzling. According to a report published in the Guardian yesterday:

"President Hamid Karzai has lost faith in the US strategy in Afghanistan and is increasingly looking to Pakistan to end the insurgency, according to those close to Afghanistan's former head of intelligence services."

The analysis is derived from the recent resignations of Afghanistan’s two security chiefs - Amrullah Saleh, the director of intelligence, and Hanif Atmar, the interior minister. Both men were perceived to be close to the United States. The official reasoning for the resignation was their failure to protect the recently concluded peace jirga from a brazen attack by Taliban insurgents. Most analysts however see the departures as part of the complex calculus to decide Afghanistan's future; where the US looks increasingly set to quit, leaving the door open for regional players like Pakistan, Iran and India to negotiate a future setup that preserves their interest. According to Washington Post editor David Ignatius:

“Saleh, the intelligence chief, is a particular antagonist of Pakistan’s feared Inter-Services Intelligence directorate, known as the ISI. “He is hated by ISI,” says one official bluntly. Some ISI officials regard Saleh as an Indian agent, though they present no evidence to support that claim.”

The groundwork for Saleh's departure it appears came during a crucial moot last week. Ignatius continues:

"A final factor bolstering the idea that Karzai is tilting toward Islamabad is the recent visit to Kabul by General Pervez Kiyani, the chief of staff of the Pakistani army, accompanied by Ahmed Shuja Pasha, the head of ISI. They are said to have met with Karzai in late May, after the Afghan president’s visit to Washington but before the June 2 opening of the jirga."

The resignations hence point towards a broader, unofficial agreement between Karzai and Pakistan. Elizabeth Rubin at Foreign Policy speculates at the details of the pact:

"The Pakistani's second condition (following the closure of the Indian consulates) was the removal of Amrullah Saleh as Intel Chief (whom they saw as anti-Pakistani)"

If true, this can be recognized as a major strategic coup for Pakistan. It is common knowledge that it holds two of the key assets in the Afghan war endgame: Mullah Omar’s faction of the Taliban, and Sirajuddin Haqqani’s network in Eastern Afghanistan. The addition of Karzai to this camp represents a near monopoly over Afghan political-militant factions. While the US retains the dominant voice in any future settlement, it puts Pakistan in a position of strength against its regional rivals.

How Pakistan leverages this coup to institute peace once NATO forces depart, remains to be seen. In theory it would rise as a statesman and broker an agreement between the sides. In reality this would be near impossible. These factions have been in battle for a good two decades, and the concept of settling such a feud has no precedent in Afghanistan’s history. Complicating matters will the US, which is mistrusted by all the groups, and which will have its own vision of the country's future.

Ultimately, the Karzai agreement will be a test of the maturity of Pakistan’s foreign policy. The last time it found itself in this position, Pakistan ended up creating the Taliban. It was a mistake that still haunts the country.

I Suck at Predictions but..

2010-06-10T05:10:00.009-04:00

This is what I think/hope will happen!

Why Argentina? Because they can do this..

..and while this might be a bit of a problem..

..when you've got something like this on the field..

..you can fancy your chances!

Update: If the Argentines had any more incentive to win:

Making Sense of Turkey's Anger

2010-06-06T04:27:00.009-04:00

Of all the geopolitical repercussions from the Flotilla Massacre, I think the stance taken by Turkey is the most compelling to look at. This is partly because the Turks have always been well-versed in the art of diplomacy, avoiding hostility at every turn. Of late, they even buried their long standing enmity with the Armenians, a rivalry that makes India-Pakistan look like a schoolyard tussle. Which is why the anger over the Flotilla is particularly surprising. The American press has clearly been caught off guard, as this perplexing New York Times editorial suggests. It is important however to look at this from a wider lens, because I feel Turkey’s stance is likely to have far-reaching implications on the region and its politics.

Historically, the country has subscribed to American foreign policy - opposing the Soviet Union during the Cold War, supporting George W. Bush's War on Terror, establishing a civil-military relationship with Israel and refusing to support Iran's nuclear ambitions. This was in line with its secular founder’s desire to be a part of the West, further manifested by its conscious distance from the Muslim world and courtship of the European Union.

That history seems to have turned, and in intriguing manner that. It is not the anger that Turkey displayed at Israel in the post-Flotilla era, but the nature and intensity that is significant. Among the things Turkey's Prime Minister Recep Tayyip Erdoğan has stated include accusing Israel of “state murder”, warning it of “unspecified consequences” if the blockade of Gaza is not ended, and describing Hamas as "a resisting group struggling for its own land". President Abdullah Gul went even further saying, “Turkey will never forgive this attack.” These are strong statements, and they follow a chain of words that began last year when Erdogan stormed out of a World Economic Forum debate describing Israel's Gaza offensive as "crimes against humanity”.

These tensions come on the back of moves by Turkey to assert itself in the Muslim world. It has engaged with Syria, a country isolated on the international front. It has worked to bring Pakistan and Afghanistan to the negotiating table. Most importantly it has thwarted the West’s assault on Iran’s nuclear ambitions, opposing sanctions and the military option using its position on the Security Council and ties with Tehran.

Several analysts have described this shift a result of the futility of Turkey’s EU ambitions and its realization that the Middle East better serves its economic aspirations. But this theoretical explanation ignores the changing political landscape of the country. After eight years in power, the Islamic minded government appears to have dealt a decisive blow to the previously dominant secular establishment, which encompasses the military, judiciary and media. The arrest of a group of generals accused of plotting a coup earlier this year served as a signature move for this victory. The removal of a major obstacle to its agenda has allowed the government to move ahead with more confidence on the foreign front. By design or fortune, it has assumed the role of the statesman of the Muslim world.

The big question is what this means in the regional context. At least in the Middle East, the days of the US-Turkey partnership are over. On Iran and Palestine, the defining issues of the region, the two countries are rapidly moving apart. This is a blow to the US in particular, because Turkey with its secular outlook and NATO status was as ideal a Muslim ally could be. With Europe appearing wary of adventurism, China and Russia nurturing long standing grudges, the US suddenly finds itself bereft of strong geostrategic allies.

The US’s Muslim allies will feel vulnerable as well. The Turkish admonishment of Israel has earnt it heroic status on the Muslim street. This is unlikely to sit well with countries like Saudi Arabia, Egypt and Pakistan – all of whom have traded foreign policy independence for American security and economic assistance. Populations in these countries are rabidly anti-American, rivaling in emotion only the reverence their leaders have for Washington. Their people will inevitably cite Turkey as a model for what their state stance should be, further discrediting the government in public. This will prove dangerous when the Afghan war endgame, Gaza imbroglio and the Iran nuclear issue reach their climax, because it might require these countries to choose between domestic and international compulsions.

Turkey’s move is major in both its timing and impact. Whether it serves as a catalyst to a new future remains to be seen.

Channeling our Emotions

2010-06-04T14:11:00.002-04:00

Pakistanis are known for getting riled up on a variety of different issues. Burning effigies of everyone from Bob Woolmer to George W. Bush have lit up the night sky. Most recently the masses made it out on to the streets with protests against ‘Draw Muhammad Day’. The cause was undoubtedly spot on, it was a deplorable idea to try and deliberately insult Muslims worldwide. However, the level of intensity of the response is debatable, the country seemed to come to a grinding halt, Youtube and Facebook were banned, and it caused a huge uproar in the media, local and international. So much so that 20 people died in Karachi in yet another mindless attack, but people barely batted an eye-lid on that story. We as a nation have the passion and drive to tackle any issue at hand, we just need to channel our emotions towards better causes.

The Facebook banning is not the only controversy in Pakistan to be centered around depictions of the Holy Prophet. The Danish cartoon fiasco from a couple of years ago also caused a similar raucous in Pakistan. Protestors marched down Mall Road, burning everything from Danish flags to carts left on the side of the road. Shops were trashed, and in one incident witnessed on Geo Television, a young moron had brought a gun to the protest and was firing into the air randomly. The amount of damage done on Mall Road was considerable, and the poor man who relies on his donkey cart for his daily wage was left unemployed. In an already ailing economy, broken windows were the last thing local businesses wanted to deal with.

A similar incident occured this past December during Muharram. At a jalous procession on Ashura a bombing killed about 25 people and injured close to a 100. Instead of fleeing in fear the gathering mob turned violent, torching the city and incurring huge damages. Now again, these people had an axe to grind for a legitimate reason, but they responded in the worst possible manner for themselves and for their country. Not only did they put their own lives at risk by going on the rampage, the mob also severely damaged local shops, damages that might have put people out of business and out of work.

Something must be noted here though. It took great courage for Shi’ias to congregate this past Muharram. The Taliban have been more active than ever and Shi’ias have been a constant target for such fundamentalists over the years. It took a different type of courage to stay out on the streets after the bombings occurred, but it was the overwhelming anger of the mob that became the story. The potential to respond in the right was there, Shi’ias were not deterred from going out on the streets. Therefore already one of the objectives of these fundamentalists has failed. However, the ensuing chaos is exactly what the suicide bombers wanted. In retrospect, if the crowd had stayed out on the streets and continued to honor one of the great sacrifices in Islamic history, that would have been a much better way of nullifying the aims of the Taliban.

There are many more cases of public displays of outrage that started because of a legitimate reason but ended up nasty (Inzy’s house getting shattered after the 2003 World Cup is another good example). These poor choices of judgment overshadow the instances when peaceful public protests are carried out in the right spirit. A great example of this comes from one of the most controversial circumstances in all of Pakistan’s history. The Lal Masjid fiasco is said to have been the root of many of Pakistan’s current problems. Back when the fundos had complete control over the mosque and the army was scratching its head looking for solutions, MQM arranged a rally against the Lal Masjid clerics. The streets of Karachi were filled with thousands of people who had peacefully come out to protest against the Lal Masjid mentality, saying that it was a disgrace. Another good example is the long march that lawyers organized to reinstate a free judiciary finally did work.

When a country is faced with a crippling economic situation coupled with the worst security threat in its history, emotions will run high and tempers will flare. These emotions can be our biggest strength as a nation, they just need to be harnessed in the right way and in the right manner. Peaceful public protests are our right as a democracy, but the issues we protest need to be given more thought. Protesting against ‘Draw Muhammad Day’ as stated before is a just cause, but the time and effort being put into protesting against a company based halfway across the world to get them to shut down one group is pretty high. With the same time and effort, people could be out on the streets protesting against the violation of human rights that the Taliban has been carrying out ever since its occupation in Pakistan. What we need to be doing is making it clear that attacking people in mosques and hospitals is not only unimaginably inhumane, it will not be tolerated. With a little bit of redirection, we could take a huge step forward.

Umair: Introduction

2010-06-02T22:32:00.002-04:00

I grew up as a voracious reader, but never a writer. This was because of a lack of confidence and ability. The former because I never thought I would be as good as those I read, and the latter because, well, I was never really a good writer. The University of Michigan changed both those things. Somewhere along the 60-odd papers I wrote in 3 years, I acquired the coherence to articulate my opinions. The Blue Rickshaw is hence a fitting tribute to those years, a tangible product of an outstanding education. As a Pakistani it will be impossible to not talk about the myriad of issues afflicting the country, but in a personal capacity I would want to talk about more. If my reading sources are any indication, it would make an eclectic series of posts for sure.

Finally, a bit about my favorite rickshaw memory. One not-so-fine morning, back in junior school, my school van decided not to pick me up. Both my cars were in use, and hence I found myself facing the prospect of going to school in a noisy rickshaw. It didn’t help that I went to an elite school in Karachi, where kids couldn’t fathom travel in anything other than a luxury sedan. So I arrived in front of the school gate, red faced and stumbling, facing a bunch of wide-eyed kids who looked at me as if I were an alien. Silly as it may sound, it was one of the more embarrassing moments of my childhood. Back then I thought ‘why did this happen to me’ today I know why it did.

Emad: Introduction

2010-06-02T22:22:00.003-04:00

Rickshaws — blue ones at first, before the CNG-fitted green variety took over — have been central to my experience. From bunks to clandestine meetings, khwaari to emergencies, from Lakshmi Chowk to Walton, Sunderdas Road to Liberty, Defence to Camp Jail, and from Dharampura to the mysterious point beyond the Railway Station where Daewoo buses refuel.

Writing, too, has been important. It would have played an even bigger role if I wasn’t as lazy as I am at beginning a piece. And that, essentially, is my primary motive: if this blog survives a year or two, you may draw conclusions on my resolve. The second motive is this: I’ve been taught for 3 years to think in policy terms — to think solutions but also useless albeit engaging banter disguised as diplomacy. It would be a shame to forget it all. So maybe this blog will provide practice.

As for The Blue Rickshaw, in which the three of us sit quite comfortably, it will always be the truest, most appropriate vehicle for Pakistan. Dirty, unsanitized, polluting and infuriating. But also colourful, raucous and never, ever dull. Seats three but was always secretly meant for an uncomfortable family of six. And with a motto, emblazoned in bright colours on the back, which slyly slips politics into humour — an inside joke that confounds the world.

Who knows what our collective ideology will be? The ramblings of three Pakistanis, when combined, may turn out to be surprisingly useful. I hope.

Watch this space.

Shazil: Introduction

2010-06-02T22:05:00.004-04:00

2004 was a great time to be in Pakistan. The Indian cricket team was in Pakistan for the first time that decade in what turned out to be an epic encounter. Indians had made it across the border in masses, especially for the Lahore ODI signifying the improving relations between the two countries that were at an all time high. I remember that game vividly, I went with my cousin and we sat next to a lovely Indian couple. They were having such a great time in the country that they regretted not bringing their daughter, whom they had left behind worrying about the treatment of women in Pakistan, stories which they said were way off the mark. Imran Khan was also at the game, but had refused an invitation to the executive box because of the potential presence of President General Musharraf. At the time Imran Khan’s decision to enjoy the spectacle from the stands was about the extent of opposition to the country’s premier, and vicious politics from all sides seemed to be on the back burner, for the moment. Cricket wasn’t the only thing going right for the country; the Karachi Stock Exchange was amongst the fastest growing stock exchanges in the world, reflecting the healthy shape of the economy. The War on Afghanistan has helped Pakistan’s cause a great deal, the sanctions placed because of Pakistan’s nuclear ambitions were lifted and there was a steadily increasing inflow of foreign aid. My uncle chose a great time to get married. For his wedding had people coming in over the world to join in on the happiness.

Fast forward 6 years and the same people wouldn’t come to any wedding if you bought their tickets for them. Pakistan is still in the news, now more so than ever, but for all the wrong reasons. The recent bombing at the Ahmadi mosque in Lahore is just one of about a gazillion things that have gone wrong. The point of this article however, or indeed this blog, is not to dwell on the negative. Skepticism continues to be the main theme of so many prominent journalists in Pakistan. Though we will deal with all issues in Pakistan, it will be done without trying to be skeptical about the future, we are just three guys trying to change Pakistan and the world for the better.

‘The Blue Rickshaw’ was created by the three of us so that we could write about what interests us, and our views and opinions on different matters. Politics will be a common theme of discussion on this blog, but it will not be the only thing. The adventures of the cricket team will be well documented, as will life in Ann Arbor. The title of the blog allows us to link to both Pakistan and our beloved college, Michigan. The colors of the university are maize and blue, with ‘Go Blue’ being the trademark chant for all sports teams here. Rickshaws of course are the standard form of transport across Pakistan, and no matter what automobile you get to ride in, nothing beats the thrill of that first ride in a rickshaw. I must admit Emad came up with the name and full marks to him for it. The name really struck a chord with me though, and for more than the reasons mentioned above. One of my favorite memories from boarding school was getting permission to go out and get dinner outside of the confines of campus. There were six of us from my class at that time, and we were standing on Mall Road in Lahore desperately searching for a rickshaw to get to a restaurant. Finally we found one, but since at the time they were so hard to come by all six of us crammed into that rickshaw. It was the start of an epic night, but that memory also reminds me one of my best friends from boarding school who was a part of that great rickshaw ride. He was recently martyred in a terrorist attack, and now that memory is mixed with the harsh realization of the real issues that our country is facing on a day to day basis.